# 120 Sugar Puffs

There are some days when nothing can be done.

Honestly, I've had enough of them to know this to be true. You just wake up, a bit puffy of jaw, shadowy of eye, blotchy of skin, blemished of chin - and yes, you know you'll look better post-slap - but that, however hard you try, you still won't look great. It's what I call a 'Can't Fake It' day, when make-up is a band aid rather than blaze of glory... when skin's just not playing ball and you'd rather retreat to loafing-land than go out and meet all those people who expect you to look, well, like you know what you're talking about.

Ordinarily I hit the panic button and the old faithfuls come out of the cupboard: Origins Modern Friction; Dermalogica Multi-Vitamin Power Recovery Mask OR Guinot Masque Essential Nutrition Confort; Sisley Eye Contour Mask; Lancome Hydra Zen Tinted Moisturiser (a newish find - very nice); a dusting of BareMinerals powder; Dior Skinflash; Stila Eyeshadow in Kitten and Guerlain Terractotta Bronzer... you know the routine.

But last week I had a bad day. So bad in fact that when I looked at myself in the mirror that morning I actually gasped. Out loud. I'd seemingly gained 6 pounds in my sleep and forgotten to take off my mascara the night before (I hadn't been wearing any) - everything was just off - out of focus, as though my features had decided to go into hibernation and been replaced with fading scribbles - like those chalked silhouettes of removed corpses you always see on CSI. Mortification! Then I remembered the salt-and-sugar fest I'd enjoyed the very late night before (look, I'm pregnant okay), and so, because it was a Saturday, I decided to go back to bed in a bid to wake up thinner, brighter and less likely to jump off the balcony. Surely, I just needed more sleep?

And whadya know? It actually worked. Which just goes to show that sometimes the best thing is to sleep on it.

And if that fails, well, time to bring on the cosmetic cavalry.

#68 Mineral Fake-Up

I'm wary of even mentioning the word 'mineral' now, as I know just how aggressively consumers are being bombarded with new launches - and yes, it is all a bit much. Particularly when you actually break down what's going on. Mineral make-up is being lauded as the answer to women's prayers - a sheer, flattering veil of cover that simultaneously heals and protects skin - pure enough to sleep in! (Multiple exclamation marks punctuated with rolling of eyes and yawns from the Beauty Ed's desk). Fact is, it ain't that sheer, it doesn't really protect (unless you wear potloads) and you don't EVER want to sleep in it.

OK, so most of it certainly isn't any worse than what we're already putting on our skin - and most of it doesn't contain preservatives, artificial dyes and animal byproducts etc - BUT it's still not pure or beneficial enough to warrant the fanfare. At best, it's full of metal oxides and mica - but as the acne-prone will vouch for - zinc, aluminium and iron oxides are occlusive - we're talking about the same stuff that is found in mineral sunblocks after all. They do not let 'skin breathe' - another mineral make-up myth - they're heavy metals and all they really do is just sit there, reflecting away the sun's light. On the upside, they're stable compounds which are unlikely to cause allergic reactions - hence why mineral make-up is often recommended to sensitive and rosacea-prone skin types AND there is a smattering of research that suggest zinc oxide can help damaged skin heal itself - but only in so far as it provides a barrier that sits atop the wound, thereby keeping out foreign bodies. Not particularly miraculous.

Then there's Bismuth Oxychloride - a few other beauty editors have clocked onto this recently, and it's about time, because this compound is actually a man-made one, formed from an industrial chemical process and is the byproduct of lead and copper refining. It's found in lots of different mineral make-up brands and new research suggests that it might also cause sensitivity reactions. So... you start to get the scary picture...

But it gets even worse. Quite apart from the mineral make-up that is in fact 100% mineral make-up (and can therefore only contain a combination of metal oxides and mica - a naturally occuring mineral, that gives products 'shimmer') - there are now the new breed of products that proclaim amazing skin benefits - 'good enough to sleep in, promotes skin health, great for acne-prone complexions as it lets skin 'breathe'' - and are simply lying. Glance at the label of any of the new big brand launches and you can bet your bottom dollar that there will be a long list of unidentifiable, and often chemical, components in there too - hardly the pure as air formula being spouted by the marketing material.

My advice?
- Read every label. The fewer ingredients the better.
- Don't automatically assume that mineral is better. Drier skins often experience a chalky finish as the powder is prone to settling on flake-prone areas.
- If you love your mineral make-up, remember that although the formula may not harbour bacteria (being physically inert and unable to degrade) the brush used to deposit it will not be exempt. Wash it regularly!
- Don't rely on mineral make-up to give you your sun protection. It's immensely difficult to get a handle on how much needs to be applied in order to obtain the protection given on the packet. You're far better off applying a moisturiser with built-in sunscreen, before applying make-up.
- And, never go to sleep in it. Skin detoxes and repairs itself at night and a mineral coating sitting within and atop pores will not do your face any favours.

It would seem that when it comes to mineral make-up, the only thing that does seem clear is that nothing should be taken at face value...

#58 Premature Resolution

Oh lordy it's happening again. First came the spring-cleaning (which began with the last spoonful of Xmas pud & cream being scraped into the dustbin), then came the wardrobe haulage (all unsuitable, unseasonable items are now zipped up in a John Lewis storage bag in the loft) and today, I waged war on the buckling shelves and burgeoning storage units in my study. There's something about the end of the year that sends me off into a bout of relentless navel gazing. I analyse my life, my home, my space, my skin. Then I start clearing out. Chucking bits of paper I've stashed safely all year, ripping apart magazines that have been stood in chronological order since time immemorial (otherwise known as the day I moved into my new flat) and sifting through boxes of beauty bumph that I've not yet had time to try, nor been able to offload on friends and family - trying to work out what on earth I'm supposed to do with it all. Here's an idea - if there is anyone out there who runs a legitimate charity and can make good use of unwanted, unused and unopened beauty products then please, drop me a line and fill me in on your proposal. Ta very much.

Whilst sifting - which took me the best part of 4 hours - I ended up with three distinct piles: The crap that no one would ever want; the stuff that I don't want, but someone else might love and the gems I'm saving for myself, just in case I ever manage to grow myself another face or five, and will thereby find good use for.

Tomorrow I shall regale you with the good stuff.
Tonight, I'll serve up the unsatisfactory:


CRAP TRAP
I have a mate who loves J-Lo's, Paris', Coleen's and Gwen's scents. There's nowt snobby about her - and she always sniffs it like it is. But Alex by OK! Magazine sent her running for the nearest door. Words used? Sweet, cloying, air-freshener, headache-inducing - like one's first sniff of an early 90s incarnation of Impulse. The bottle's about as classy as Jordan on the pull too. Wrinkle-inducing grimaces abound.

The mineral foundation revolution. Anyone would think skincare companies had found a cure for cancer with all the harping on that's been done about these curious pots of powder. The fact is, the vast majority of the mineral formulas out there are sadly lacking in purity. Many of them (including L'Oreal's True Match Mineral Foundation) contain one or more dodgy additions, such as Diazolidinyl Urea (a common irritant) and Bismuth Oxychloride (neither of which are found in nature), so the 'go to sleep in it, wake up with better skin' myth, is in most cases just that - MYTH. Be wary and always check the labels before parting with your hard-earned cash.

My other peeve is that I've not yet tried a mineral powder that looked great on my skin. I'll start by saying that I've never ever worn face powder - hey, if my nose shines, so be it - so I'm not used to seeing a veil of dust on the skin, which tends to gather around my eyebrows and cheeks, where I have a wee bit of peach fuzz. But at least with face powder you can get away with just a swish over the T-Zone, but if you choose a mineral powder foundation, you're supposed to be able to use it everywhere - under eyes, over spots, atop chins - and it's often marketed as being a foundation-and-concealer-in-one too. Problem is, wherever you put it and however well you blend, it's always partially VISIBLE, which as far as I'm concerned, is cardinal base sin #1.

There may be others in the future that I love - I've saved a couple of pots for new year dalliances - but for the timebeing, at this stumped-out, fag-end of 2007, they're in the NOT HOT POT... going, going, gone.