# 120 Sugar Puffs

There are some days when nothing can be done.

Honestly, I've had enough of them to know this to be true. You just wake up, a bit puffy of jaw, shadowy of eye, blotchy of skin, blemished of chin - and yes, you know you'll look better post-slap - but that, however hard you try, you still won't look great. It's what I call a 'Can't Fake It' day, when make-up is a band aid rather than blaze of glory... when skin's just not playing ball and you'd rather retreat to loafing-land than go out and meet all those people who expect you to look, well, like you know what you're talking about.

Ordinarily I hit the panic button and the old faithfuls come out of the cupboard: Origins Modern Friction; Dermalogica Multi-Vitamin Power Recovery Mask OR Guinot Masque Essential Nutrition Confort; Sisley Eye Contour Mask; Lancome Hydra Zen Tinted Moisturiser (a newish find - very nice); a dusting of BareMinerals powder; Dior Skinflash; Stila Eyeshadow in Kitten and Guerlain Terractotta Bronzer... you know the routine.

But last week I had a bad day. So bad in fact that when I looked at myself in the mirror that morning I actually gasped. Out loud. I'd seemingly gained 6 pounds in my sleep and forgotten to take off my mascara the night before (I hadn't been wearing any) - everything was just off - out of focus, as though my features had decided to go into hibernation and been replaced with fading scribbles - like those chalked silhouettes of removed corpses you always see on CSI. Mortification! Then I remembered the salt-and-sugar fest I'd enjoyed the very late night before (look, I'm pregnant okay), and so, because it was a Saturday, I decided to go back to bed in a bid to wake up thinner, brighter and less likely to jump off the balcony. Surely, I just needed more sleep?

And whadya know? It actually worked. Which just goes to show that sometimes the best thing is to sleep on it.

And if that fails, well, time to bring on the cosmetic cavalry.

# 115 Lippity Split

Anyone who regularly reads this blog will know that I'm a balm maniac. I'm not blessed with unflappable (or unchappable) lips, and come winter, my mouth is really put to the test. I'd been swapping between Prescriptives Lip Specialist Triple Action Therapy (now, ain't that a mouthful), Trilogy Everything Balm and Mama Mio Wonder-Full Balm when it became undeniably obvious that none of them were working. Fearing a case of the ol' overdoing it, I cut back to Prescriptives; a week later, when lips were chappier than a rodeo show, I tried Trilogy - this was better, but re-application seemed to be required every few minutes; then Mama Mio, which I'm convinced made my lips a lot worse (it seems better on dry body patches than lip-situated ones).

Despairing, and with a pout that just would not stop peeling, I emailed the Sisley PR. Two days later the Nutritive Balm arrived and just one day in, the chaps are healing nicely. I said I wouldn't fork out for this one (it's just SO bloody expensive and in such a little pot) - but I'm now entirely convinced that it's the best lip balm on the market by a very very long way. And other readers have concurred. Accept no substitute. (Oh and I also tried Nivea, Chapstick, Carmex & Suqqu).

And while I'm talking about poor substitutes, my recent trip into sulfate-free shampoos has come up against some problems. First bump in the road: Naked Shine Hydrating Shampoo. Nice smell, decent lather on the second wash (not on first), and not-bad levels of shine left on hair shaft... along with (*pet peeve alert*), a nasty, tacky residue along the scalp, where the product refused to rinse away cleanly (this was on outing 4 or 5).

So, the question - is there a decent, clean-rinsing, moisturising, calming & shine-boosting sulfate-free shampoo out there?

A friend has mentioned Louise Galvin - I tried her range many moons ago, so perhaps it's worth another shot. Another colleague swore by Frederic Fekkai's sulfate-free shampoo during her pregnancy - so we'll see how this fares too.

I shall feedback in good time - and in the meantime, do weigh in with your recommendations. My hair & I need you!

# 113 Nice & Easy

The trials and tribulations have stacked up this month.

Here's the good stuff:

Phyto Phytomist Instant Hydrating Conditioner For Colour Treated Or Permed Hair

Lovely scent, non-sticky feel, leaves hair glossy & soft - great for taming winter frizzies and stealing away static. I have neither colour-treated no permed hair (just naturally curly locks that go 'pouf' in the night), and this has made a big difference to the calmness of said curlies. When MOP discontinued their C-System style and hydrate spray, I was bereft. Now, thanks to this, I feel a bit better.

Sisley Eye Contour Mask

I was sent this by the obliging PR some months ago now, and given how my eye-bags always seem overladen come Christmas, I thought I'd give it a whirl. I use it around my eye contour while using other masks on the rest of my face, so it's a nice staple for that reason alone. It's a thick gel texture which glides on and stays where you put it, and does a good job of hydrating and smoothing out dehydration lines. It also seems to lift shadows slightly - not very noticeably I hasten to add - but just makes the area look a wee bit more 'rested.' As far as eye masks go, it's a keeper - but I'll confess that I probably wouldn't pay £61 for a top-up when this one runs out. Not because it isn't a good product, but simply because I'm inherently cynical of just how much difference an eye mask can make... and how short-lived even the best results can be.

And here's the stuff that's been chucked back into the 'unconvinced' box:

Ole Henriksen African Red Tea Perfecting Mask

I really wanted to like this one because had it been brilliant it would've solved all of my skin woes in a single swoop. It professes to hydrate, brighten, lift and tone facial contours, purify and smooth. A big ask - and unfortunately a product that left me cold (literally - it cools down on contact with skin, which left me uncomfortable - and the winter wind seemed doubly ferocious once I finally made it out of the house). I didn't see any dramatic brightening effect, nor did I notice improved tone. I've used Ole's products in the past and there are a couple I like - but I have to say, I've never liked the African Red Tea body line either (the heating cream & mask made my skin a bit rashy)... red tea's just not my bag.

Nivea SOS Lip Care SPF 15

According to Mister M, this one tastes like coal tar (erm, any idea what coal tar tastes like?)... and it's overly scented too. If it worked, this would be a small price to pay... but, it doesn't - after a sub-zero Northern weekend my lips were flakier than a coconut snowball. It's also sticky, and wind-swept hair + gluey lips is not a good look. Nope, just don't like this one at all!

# 110 Count Me Out

I was going to begin this post by moaning about the winter bug that's still got me out for the count, but, well, I can't be bothered - and dredging up the gory details is not going to do much to improve my mood is it? Suffice it to say that my equation goes a bit like this:

A 7-day flu bug +
7 days of antibiotics to clear a chest infection that will linger for another 5 days +
All of this straight after coming off a 3 Day Superjuice Detox Diet
= Don't F**k About With Your Guts. If you do it'll come back to bite you in the ass. (No pun intended).

And don't forget to read the small print:
PUTTING ONE'S SYSTEM THROUGH UNUSUAL 'HEALTH-PROMOTING' DIETS THAT INVOLVE MOSTLY COLD-FROM-THE-FRIDGE JUICE CONCOCTIONS AND NO FOOD WHATSOEVER (DURING THE COLD AND FLU SEASON WHEN ONE'S BODY IS IN NEED OF HEARTY SOUPS AND STEAMING STEWS) IS NOT A GOOD IDEA. REPEAT: ABORT MISSION. OR RISK HAVING TO SPEND A WEEK IN BED IN A BATHROBE WITH A SICKY FEVER AND NO SMARTIES CAKE FROM YOUR BEST FRIEND'S BABY SHOWER. NOT EVEN A CRUMB. SOB.

So, I thought I'd cheer myself up by dishing the dirt on some disappointing skin offerings instead. Well, my vitriol is one of the few things that isn't contagious...


I ran out of my beloved ESPA Gentle Deep Cleansing Balm last week and rooted a 'standby' Bobbi Brown Cleansing Oil, out of the drawer as I was too sick to travel to the shops. The first few times I used it it was fine - it emulsified well & rinsed cleanly. I did, however, notice that my skin didn't feel as soft as normal and on 3rd or possibly 4th employ, it began to sting - not severely, but in an 'I'm rather harsh and irritating against your oft-blown-nose skin' way. My chin and cheeks were also far drier after cleansing than I deem acceptable. In my experience, the mark of a good cleanser is that even dry skin can stand a few minutes after cleansing and before moisturising, without starting to !SCREAM! at you. Well, this one failed on that count. And I also started to notice blocked pores on my nose and forehead - something I haven't experienced during my entire 6 months with ESPA. As far as this product's concerned, I do not want to be Bobbi's girl ever again.


I ran out of Sisley Nutritive Lip Balm last week too (major bummer as it costs around £35 for a teeny pot), and trialled two other formulas that promised even better results (according to the PRs at any rate). The first was SUQQU Lip Essence Cream, which comes in a swanky and weighty white pot. I liked it at first because it was thick, waxy and unguent, so stayed put, but a couple of days in it became apparent that my lips were not convinced, and therein began the peeling and puckering. I also started to notice a chemical whiff after application which scared me, so I desisted and started on Prescriptives Lip Specialist Triple Action Lip Therapy instead. The latter is a much better bet & has sorted out soreness a treat. The only problem (and it's an insurmountable one) is that come the end of the year Prescriptives will be no longer. So, if you're a fan, it's worth stocking up while you still can. On my part, Sisley's still the best... and sometimes the best is worth the pay-day wait.

As for me, it's back to bed with a mug of tea... sniffle sniffle... and sweeter dreams.

DISCLAIMER: My Juice Detox did not make me sick. It just didn't help me shake my sickness. And it might even have made me sicker than I would have been without it. But I cannot prove it. But just in case it did make me sick, I won't be paying £300 to get knocked out again anytime soon.... Oh sod it. Just sue me.

#87 Show-Faced

Diet features. Pah. New Year's Resolutions. Hmph. Gym memberships, swanky new kit, visions of a newer, svelter, less-jiggly-thighed you. Forget it. As this is approaching my 30th new year on earth, I have decided to steer well clear of big promises to myself, preferring instead to usher in a far more realistic and exciting era: The Age of the Experimental Me. Da-Da-DAH!

Yep. I've decided, not wholly unlike April Long in this month's US ELLE, to try out an entirely new look every week (she opted for a new hairstyle everyday for 21 days - kudos!) in an effort to shake myself out of my comfort zone AKA my recent descent into the sartorial wilderness. The root cause of my time-out? One word: Winter. This is my scariest season. Every year I imagine buying up cashmere, elegant scarves, new boots, a lovely coat, woolen Franco-centric dresses and dressing like a combination of a Russian Doll and Minnie Mouse. Yet... every year I find something else to spend my money on - this year a broken-into car and broken-down washing machine (groan) - and the fairytale image gets further and further away as I desperately recycle my summer dresses with long-sleeved jersey Ts underneath, spend weeks in my black & grey leggings (they're SO comfy)and long woolen tunics, and pull on my favourite baggy jeans with last season's Uniqlo knits and big scarves. Then, horror of horrors, my favourite Comptoir des Cotonniers skirt bust a zip & my APC coat lost a statement button. Things fall apart...

But, now that the year ends in a '9' (so, scarily, close to '10') rather than an '8' (I still have time to change), I'm determined to hurl myself out of the comfort zone. Not in an unrealistic attempt to get a new body, new man, new life - no cliche copy here - but rather to be able to look at my reflection in the mirror and think, 'Good for you. You look like you care about yourself. Change feels good doesn't it?'

And as with any new hair & make-up endeavour, my search begins in my desk drawers, unearthing the new shades and textures that will give my look an injection of 2009-worthy attitude. The things that caught my eye include:

Bobbi Brown Skin Foundation SPF15 - a lovely water-rich formula that blends very well, leaves a dewy finish and really works wonders at covering uneven blotches. Best on just-buffed skin as it is not moisturising enough to rid you of dry patches, but works well at dispelling any rogue redness around noses.

From MAC, a bevy of exciting things: Creme Colour Base in Pearl Frost, a gold-based icy hue that really lifts & opens eyes, without making you look like the Tin Man. I wore it yesterday, slicked from lashline to top of lid, with a single coat of inky black mascara, and was asked for ID at my local Waitrose. God's. Honest. Truth.

Also from MAC, Mineralize Blush in Dainty, which is a tawny coral, almost terracotta colour, which I've learned from experience looks great worn high on cheekbones and swiped across the bridge of the nose. Easier to wear than a bright pop of pink & great for faking a flush on those who do not like using bronzer. Works well with MAC Tinted Lip Conditioner SPF15 in Petting Pink, with its glorious pink putty hue and candy scent.

Then, a bid to wear mascara more often - jammed deep into lashes and as inky black as possible - I really like Rimmel Sexy Curves with it's thin, grippy brush.

Finally, my love affair with lipstick continues with a shade that begs to be eaten. Korres Mango Butter Lipstick SPF10 in 45/Coral gives a shiny, wet look rather than that matte colour-block of paint effect that's also popular right now (try Sisley if that's the look you're hankering after), but the Korres colour is just so damn hot and the formula is foolproof.

Topped off with a headband - worn, hippie-style, over the hair, to compliment my new, choppy fringe. Don't write off ASOS for great hair accessories - and with the sale still on, I grabbed a gorgeous sailor-stripe bow band for just £2. Love it.

A tally of lovely treats that beat bog-standard New Year's resolutions any day of the week. Particularly on days when I feel nothing more than the urge to bury myself in the duvet. On those days, the whirr of the treadmill jars as acutely as a dentist's drill - but playful hair, a bright lip, shimmering eye and contoured cheek pull me out of my dystopia, shake me up and get me feeling like myself again - less defensive, less buttoned up... within or without the buttons on my APC coat.

#77 The Tan Plan

Having just returned from a long holiday in the sun, here's the Hot List:

I avoid the sun - always have, always will. But, despite wearing generous amounts of SPF50 every single day in the sun, reapplying every 30 minutes and avoiding the midday sun I have still developed a natural golden tan - minus burns, pinkness, freckles, sun spots, peeling or dry patches. I've been using Garnier Ambre Solaire Kids Rapido High SPF50 Fragrance-Free Spray and UV Sensitive Very High 50+ Protection Stick. They're great. No weird skin sensitivity or spottiness - plus they really stay put. Thumbs up.

For days when I've stayed in the shade, I've liked Sisley Sunleya Age Minimizing Sun Protection SPF15. It smells good, isn't greasy and feels lovely if you've got a chlorine-baked complexion.

Another valuable lesson I've learned is that my eyebrows always look weird on holiday. The mistake I made (and I confess, I think I do this every darn summer), however, was to pluck them thinner on my first day away as the guestroom mirror/lighting situation convinced me they needed a bit of threshing. Idiot. As my tan developed, my brows lightened, and the definition they ordinarily give my face faded. By the end of the week I looked bald of brow & perennially pissed off. Never again.

My holiday favourites?

My trusty Darphin Purifying Balm. To clear up spots, dry patches, uneven bits and to give you a clearer complexion by morning, I would never dream of travelling without it.

I'm also impressed with Essential Care Organic Mosimix. It did a grand job of warding off the winged beasties minus all the chemical chokeage. It's also extremely moisturising, so there's no need to use anything else after a bath at night.

All in all, not a bad haul.

#48 GO-LD Figure

Fans of Benefit may have noticed a disconcerting new trend. The brand that used to launch the sporadic, niche innovation seems to have switched into top gear and is now peddling products faster than you can say the words 'Press Release'. Now, I'm hardly against new bootie - I mean, news is how I make my money - but it's always startling when a brand's inventory goes from selective, to exhaustive, in a matter of months.

Having launched the Love Your Look range - which is, in itself, a complete make-up capsule, the last six months have also seen the birth of That Gal - a primer; D'Finer, D'Liner - for lips; California Kissin' - teeth-whitening lipgloss; Cupid's Bow - a lip-shaping set; Gee That Was Quick - a speedy make-up remover and You Clean Up Nice - a face wash. That's a hell of a lot of loot.

Anyway, lest I get off the point, the latest newbie is 24K - a 'sexy gold lipgloss' and 'sexy gold lipstick'. Now, I love gold. There has not been a summer in living memory which has not involved, at some point, a golden, shimmering body oil - (Nuxe, Sisley, Nars) - but I've never ventured to wear the shade on my lips. The problem is often that gold 'shimmer' actually translates as a strong statement, that wears off to a patchy, glitter-stuck-on-dry-looking-lips result. This has happened in the past and I feared a foray into 24K would be no different. I was sort of right. The 24K lipstick feels good - it glides on and is pleasantly emollient BUT the colour itself is rather outweighed by the glitter content. So, in soft, flattering, evening lamp light, it looks pretty and shimmery, but in the cold light of day, the actual glitter particles are easily discernible whereas the sheer golden hue itself is not. The lipgloss fared slightly better because its viscosity makes lips look seductively 'wet shiny', rather than 'dry spangly', but as with all glosses, it lasts about as long as it takes to drink a cup of tea and then you're left with bits of glitter stuck to gloss-less lips. It's not a Benefit slur as such - it's a common problem with glitter-infused products.

In the same gilted vein, Guerlain (LVMH owns both Guerlain & Benefit, if anyone's interested....) has gone all out with a flurry of precious products, which include L'OR - 'a radiance concentrate with pure gold' - which acts as a make-up base and Forever Gold - a super spangly powder for face and body. L'OR will appeal to anyone living on credit and gagging for the new Chanel 2.55. In truth, it's a bit of a gimmick - the gold particles float enticingly in the clear liquid, but dissolve on contact with skin in much the same way as anything else - no trace is left behind - precious maybe, but lacking in mettle. The serum is also very heavily fragranced, which will put a lot of people off and having used it before a night out a couple of times, I'm not convinced by it's radiance-enhancing properties. I think the promise is bigger than the product. On the other hand - and at the opposite end of the shimmer scale - Forever Gold is a powder-filled atomiser, that you 'puff' onto your skin where it leaves a very sparkly veil. Mine half exploded in the box, so when I opened it for the first time it left layers of scented fairy dust over my new black pinafore, which have proven a bugger to get out. Now, it's certainly true that if you want to gleam and glitter your way into a room, you could do a lot worse than this. And I'm sure it'll go down a storm at Xmas, when everyone lets loose. BUT, I have to say, for me, if it's visible to the naked eye, leaves a Tinkerbell-esque trace in the air and doesn't resemble anything that Mother Nature intended, it's a trend that I'm likely to sidestep. Crazy colour is one thing, but glitter is quite another and, for now, I'm washing my hands, face, lips and eyes of it. Over and over and over again.

#46 Return to Splendour

I've had a tropical couple of weeks in a country hotter than a body cavity and having flown out with a case, tagged with the dreaded 'Heavy' stickers, I returned a lot lighter (in luggage), calmer in mind and darker in skin. My stash did not let me down. Here's the verdict:

1. Liz Earle skincare - did the trick. In my opinion the Spiezia Organic Cleanser that I left behind still does the job better, but the Liz Earle combo certainly didn't let my sun/sea/pool-dried face down. Skin was soft, hydrated and clear all holiday.

2. The MOP stuff was hot too. The Conditioning Mist was particularly good - giving hair a simple dose of discipline - keeping it from puffing or frizzing in the heat. For days in the pool, the Styling Conditioner was a convenient choice. Combed through wet locks, it kept them in place, nourished and feeling softer when rinsed out later than night.

3. Aveda Damage Remedy. I used it every night - which is a bit OTT - but my hair never felt limp or greasy. Despite pool and sea marathons, the mane still feels silky and looked shiny every day.

4. Murad Oil-Free Sunblock Tinted SPF15. The hint of colour evened out imperfections whilst protecting me from the late afternoon sunlight. It felt nice and light, although as the mercury rose, it didn't stop me looking sweaty of shiny.

5. Derma Mum Stretch Mark Oil. This is even nicer than the cream. Every evening my limbs were soothed and left glistening with this nourishing blend of oils. I used it everywhere. It's fragrance-free too, so didn't compete with my choice of scent.

6. Sisley Phyto Touche Golden Oil. Used for one night only, on bronzed legs, whilst wearing a mini dress. Desired effect achieved. Wink wink.

7. Liz Earle Suncare. Hmmmm. Effective yes, attractive - h-Oh no. The face protector SPF 25, left a thick, bright, white layer on the skin - of course this is to be expected as it's a PHYSICAL suncreen - but even so, it wasn't sexy. I ended up using the body one a lot more (SPF 15) as it blended down to a less pallid finish and on my face I traded and pledged new allegience to Yon-Ka Ulta Protection Factor 40, which lasted very well, was waterproof and moisturised beautifully.

8. YSL Blush Variation in 16. Well, it ended up being just too pink. Once tanned, my skin longed for a hot red-pink or a golden apricot shade.

And, lest I provoke more wrath from the weather with my jealousy-inducing summer 'capades, I shall leave it there.

#45 Hers & Hers

Packing for a summer holiday takes serious self-control. Or, if you're like me, you'll just nip out and buy a bigger suitcase and then go seriously nuts and cram in every last bottle, in the hope that you'll finally get around to using those summer goodies that the PRs have been sending over to you for the last four months. Hooray I say. It's been joyous. I've been rattling through my drawers and cupboards all week, pulling out saved sachets, myriad minis (I'm taking about 50 which'll take up legions more space than if I'd opted for full sizes) and best of all, make-up palettes with glittering ambers, bronzes, yellows, golds - colours I revel in wearing when I've got a bit of a tan. The entire bottom of my suitcase is now lined with various vessels and I'm all excited. I've got skimpy shorts, bright sundresses, three new bikinis and a product for every possible occassion. I've really given in to my inner beauty ed. this time and here's just a small selection of what I'm packing:

1. Liz Earle Skincare - Skin Repair Light, Cleanse + Polish, Instant Boost Skin Tonic. (I've actually been using Spiezia's Organic Cleanser of late - which I prefer as it's 100% chemical free - but I fear the oil blend would melt and leak all over the luggage if I were to take it with me on this particular escape. NOTE to Spiezia: please make a travel-sized tube!!)

2. MOP C System - Styling Conditioner, Conditioning Mist, Hydrating Shampoo and Conditioner. Nourishing, never strips and smells yu-hummy.

3. Aveda Damage Remedy Intensive Restructuring Treatment. The BEST. No quibbles - works every time and smells wonderful. Bloody brilliant.

4. Murad Oil-Free Tinted Sun Block SPF 15. Have been using it every day - great healthy sheen, potent antioxidant protection.

5. Derma Mum Stretch Mark Oil. The bottle's smaller than the big mama tub of cream that I've been using, but with all the same skin-healing oils.

6. Sisley Phyto Touche Golden Oil. It's mini, looks precious and gives tanned limbs shimmer, without glitter.

7. Liz Earle Suncare. Never tried it, but the chemical-free, broad spectrum protection is just up my street. Let's see how it performs...

8. YSL Blush Variation in 16. A new, vibrant pink/peach shade that I've had stashed for weeks.

All packed. All excited. All done...

#40 Sisley... Seriously?

A large part of my job is to attend press days, kiss the cheeks of PRs, nibble on crab cakes, sip champagne and nod my head enthusiastically when presented with the latest, groundbreaking, world-changing revolution in beauty... cue well-timed oohs and aahs and there we have it, job done. It's fantastic, it's fun and when it involves PRs with whom I have a real giggle, it doesn't feel like work at all.

Then, unfortunately, there are the events that leave a bitter taste in the mouth. The events where the presentations are embarassingly hyperbolic, insincere or at worst, factually incorrect. Now, you wouldn't expect this from the best brands. The brands that pride themselves on cutting edge research and consumer intelligence. There have been some howlers in the past, but none quite so insulting as the recent Sisley launch - for their new Sisleya Radiance Anti-Aging[sic] Concentrate. It all started well enough. It's another product that deals with pigmentation. It has had impressive results. A lot of research etc etc etc. Then my mind wandered. There were little sugary cupcakes on the table, each decorated with an icing 'S' - though no one actually ate any of them - but it was all very white and light and pretty. Then the problems started. The spiel was given - not by the wonderful PRs, of whom I think very highly - but by a lady within Sisley's own ranks, who is responsible for training or education or something along those lines. Now, this blog is not meant to shame or sully, so I shan't get into the particulars - but this lady's beliefs (which she stressed, were 100% scientifically proven) were, in the main, complete manure. She used an imprecise, unscientific and confused mix of terminology; she fluffed her explanation of SPF several times; she repeatedly stressed that an own-brand product provided 100% daily protection - and when probed, admitted, that didn't include protection from UVA or UVB and she finished on a glorious high note - by advising us to use the product for 'two entire months, TWO months, yes, 28 days - and you'll see a difference.'

The irony is that Sisley is a fine brand. It sells itself. It has thousands of faithful followers - many of whom are the savviest consumers on the planet - and they know a good thing when they see one... just as, it has to be said, beauty eds can sniff out a dud when they see it. The product? Great texture, nice smell, good ingredients. It's been handed over to Mama Malcontent and we'll see what the verdict is in, what? Two months? Two months - yes - 28 days time. What an education.