#111 Loose Women

Loose ends are enough to drive me round the bend, so in a bid to polish my worktop and enter the weekend light of heart & mind, I'm rounding up all the nitty gritties in a single post, which I hope will help the many readers who've been emailing me this month. As ever, thank you so much for reading & reaching out & getting in touch & asking me lots of big, important and interesting questions.

First up:

" I'm 38 and recently I've noticed fine lines around my mouth. I've always just slapped on some moisturiser and headed out the door but I think more is needed these days. The woman at the Clinique counter said my skin was basically oily but dehydrated where the fine lines are. Now, what do you think about expensive anti ageing products? Should I go to Space NK and throw money at my lines or do cheaper products work just as well? And is it moisture that you need to plump up fine lines or should I be looking for retinol in a product?"


OKAY, so do you want the cold hard truth?

There isn't a cream on the market that will rid you entirely or permanently of a real wrinkle.

Some will make it look less noticeable; others will fade it away a little over time; the best might even plump it up a touch... but there is no topical high-street treatment that will erase your wrinkles for good.

Pass the tissues!

Now, if you're happy with your skin in general then I'd suggest adding a moisture-boosting serum into your routine (use post-cleanse & before moisturising) to see if the increase in hydration will fill out those fine lines. I get them on my forehead & one by the side of my mouth when I've skipped my serum for a few weeks (I use ESPA Cellular Hydrating Complex), but once I go back to it, nada, nice & smooth again. At 29, however, I do not yet have any wrinkles (a microscope analysis confirmed this last week, phew!) so I don't want to recommend something that works for me which may not deliver for you.

There is a difference between a fine line and a dehydration line though - but if the latter is left untreated for long enough it will soon become the former.

I was once a big fan of Dermalogica's Hydrating Booster until I realised that it made no long term difference to the moisture levels in my skin. I've had this problem with other Hyaluronic Acid products too in the past - they get sucked up and you think your skin's drinking its daily dose only to wake up the next morning flaky & dry as ever. If you think of your skin as a rock formation, these lightweight serums are essentially a drip-feed of groundwater, but they're not penetrating the surface to reach the soil beneath. I know I bang on about ESPA all the bloody time (and am sorry that I do, because I hate to seem biased), but my skin's moisture levels were never truly balanced until I tried ESPA Cellular Hydrating Complex. Just love that stuff - if only it weren't so dastardly expensive!!

Anyway, back to you. If your lines do not disappear entirely when they're hydrated then you probably need something a bit more serious then a moisturising serum - and this is when companies want to sell you that special something to resurface and plump up the skin's collagen and elastin stores and restore that cushion-soft complexion of your youth.'

BE WARY!

There are SO many products on the market nowadays that promise these sort of results (you know the ones; they come in syringe-shaped tubes with tag-lines that promise they're better than botox), but the results are rarely worth the price tag.

L'Oreal's Wrinkle Decrease Collagen Filler, for example, is consistently voted a top product by magazines, but it scored a poor 54% on the ever trustworthy WWW.MAKEUPALLEY.COM with half of 70 users saying they would not buy it again. Common complaints were 'the effect didn't last more than a couple of hours. I don't think it really plumps your skin, the way they claim' and 'it has more of a light-diffusing effect because it is semi-opaque than a wrinkle-filling effect. There are no active ingredients in this that could stimulate collagen production and the "boswelox" is a marketing thing.'

RoC's Wrinkle Correction Serum fared a bit better, as did Olay's Regenerist Wrinkle Filler' - but again, there were lots of users of both product who still saw very little improvement during their month-long trials.

The fact is, the serums and creams that sell themselves on an immediate filling or smoothing of lines will often make very little (if any) long-term difference. They're usually loaded with silicon & light diffusing particles (most often mica) - so the change is superficial, not structural. A good rule of thumb is to plump (excuse the pun) for products that don't purport to work overnight, and take as long as the skin cells' own cycle would take (which makes sense if you've been promised lots of spongy new cells from your latest serum)... rule of thumb, 6-8 weeks for a real visible difference.

But in my experience a great resurfacing peel followed by a regenerating mask (or a professional laser or intense pulsed light treatment) will make more difference to fine lines than a year's worth of shop-bought skin solutions. So sometimes it's worth paying to see a professional before you fork out on lots of broken promises in pots.

As an aside, I'm not a big fan of Clinique's cut & dry approach. They just don't understand skin in an holistic way. While they're regularly introducing more high-tech formulas & some great foundations, they're also pushing a 3-step-system that ignores all the new skincare breakthroughs & antioxidants across the rest of the line, and does not bother itself with protecting skin from the sun or pollution or stress; does not take into account age or race or lifestyle & the toner (which is actually an exfoliator) is my own personal bugbear because it gets women to slough away dead skin twice a day, but the moisturiser does not come with any sun protection. Any woman using this twice a day for ten years (and not having bought SPF on top) would be in for a unpleasant reflection come middle age. TRUE.

Then, onto retinol, which is another tricky issue...

Retinol is essentially an antioxidant (derived from Vitamin A) and, in layman's terms, helps the skin create healthier skin cells. It also helps shed the dead and regenerate the new, but it's not without its problems. Several of my beauty insiders have confided that their clients (who have been using retinol for upward of 10 years thanks to dermatologist prescriptions) now have very dry and thin skin - it may be clear and poreless and unlined, but it isn't very robust. Of course modern advancements in retinol production (including encapsulating it in non-irritating nano-sized ingredients that can penetrate the dermal layer) are steadily doing away with these issues - and new formulas are less likely to leave skin red-raw (skinceuticals and Medik8 are good examples of brands making smart upgrades to their formulas).

The problem for me remains that I'm a big believer in letting oily skin be oily - and would rather have a midday shine than retinol-regulated pore secretions which dry up by the time I hit 50. This thinking is unfortunately hugely at odds with a lot of leading dermatologists, many of whom think retinol is the Holy Grail of modern skincare. The Americans adore it too - and even women like Paula Begoun, who has made a living of telling the truth about what does & doesn't work, is a big fan (www.cosmeticscop.com).

If you're a retinol fan, bear in mind her interesting point though:

"Packaging is still a key issue [with retinol], so any container that lets in air (like jar packaging) or sunlight (clear containers) just won't cut it, something that applies to most state-of-the-art skin-care ingredients. Lots of retinol products come in unacceptable packaging."

And finally, you didn't mention slapping on SPF with your moisturiser? I have to say that I don't think it's worth spending a penny on anti-ageing unless you're protecting skin on top - and if you did ever start on the retinol that would have to become a key part of your regime.

I hope this has been of some help! The truth is so often painfully convoluted and when it comes to beauty, very very rarely black and white.

And in the end:

As a favour to my blogoshpere pals 'Anonymous' & 'Ellen' I wondered whether any MM readers had ever used Sjal products OR Erno Laszlo and if so, what's the consensus? Answers tagged onto this post would be greatly appreciated.

There! All tied up & somewhere to go.

# 110 Count Me Out

I was going to begin this post by moaning about the winter bug that's still got me out for the count, but, well, I can't be bothered - and dredging up the gory details is not going to do much to improve my mood is it? Suffice it to say that my equation goes a bit like this:

A 7-day flu bug +
7 days of antibiotics to clear a chest infection that will linger for another 5 days +
All of this straight after coming off a 3 Day Superjuice Detox Diet
= Don't F**k About With Your Guts. If you do it'll come back to bite you in the ass. (No pun intended).

And don't forget to read the small print:
PUTTING ONE'S SYSTEM THROUGH UNUSUAL 'HEALTH-PROMOTING' DIETS THAT INVOLVE MOSTLY COLD-FROM-THE-FRIDGE JUICE CONCOCTIONS AND NO FOOD WHATSOEVER (DURING THE COLD AND FLU SEASON WHEN ONE'S BODY IS IN NEED OF HEARTY SOUPS AND STEAMING STEWS) IS NOT A GOOD IDEA. REPEAT: ABORT MISSION. OR RISK HAVING TO SPEND A WEEK IN BED IN A BATHROBE WITH A SICKY FEVER AND NO SMARTIES CAKE FROM YOUR BEST FRIEND'S BABY SHOWER. NOT EVEN A CRUMB. SOB.

So, I thought I'd cheer myself up by dishing the dirt on some disappointing skin offerings instead. Well, my vitriol is one of the few things that isn't contagious...


I ran out of my beloved ESPA Gentle Deep Cleansing Balm last week and rooted a 'standby' Bobbi Brown Cleansing Oil, out of the drawer as I was too sick to travel to the shops. The first few times I used it it was fine - it emulsified well & rinsed cleanly. I did, however, notice that my skin didn't feel as soft as normal and on 3rd or possibly 4th employ, it began to sting - not severely, but in an 'I'm rather harsh and irritating against your oft-blown-nose skin' way. My chin and cheeks were also far drier after cleansing than I deem acceptable. In my experience, the mark of a good cleanser is that even dry skin can stand a few minutes after cleansing and before moisturising, without starting to !SCREAM! at you. Well, this one failed on that count. And I also started to notice blocked pores on my nose and forehead - something I haven't experienced during my entire 6 months with ESPA. As far as this product's concerned, I do not want to be Bobbi's girl ever again.


I ran out of Sisley Nutritive Lip Balm last week too (major bummer as it costs around £35 for a teeny pot), and trialled two other formulas that promised even better results (according to the PRs at any rate). The first was SUQQU Lip Essence Cream, which comes in a swanky and weighty white pot. I liked it at first because it was thick, waxy and unguent, so stayed put, but a couple of days in it became apparent that my lips were not convinced, and therein began the peeling and puckering. I also started to notice a chemical whiff after application which scared me, so I desisted and started on Prescriptives Lip Specialist Triple Action Lip Therapy instead. The latter is a much better bet & has sorted out soreness a treat. The only problem (and it's an insurmountable one) is that come the end of the year Prescriptives will be no longer. So, if you're a fan, it's worth stocking up while you still can. On my part, Sisley's still the best... and sometimes the best is worth the pay-day wait.

As for me, it's back to bed with a mug of tea... sniffle sniffle... and sweeter dreams.

DISCLAIMER: My Juice Detox did not make me sick. It just didn't help me shake my sickness. And it might even have made me sicker than I would have been without it. But I cannot prove it. But just in case it did make me sick, I won't be paying £300 to get knocked out again anytime soon.... Oh sod it. Just sue me.

#109 Cold Comfort

It's day 3 of my Hydro Healing Classic Detox and yep, I've got a cold. No surprise really, given that Mr M has been an infection-incubus of late, and has been battling the snots for almost 3 weeks. Sympathy has worn off entirely - given that I've now caught his sore throat & bit of a cough (though nothing as severe as his 8-on-the-Richter scale shake)- and turned into frustration... because he's still smoking despite the infection... which is something I really cannot get my head around. Anyway, enough matrimony-acrimony.

When I'm ill I go into BATTLE mode. Out come the organic salads, shakes, juices, vitamins and 12-hour stretches of sleep - and I've yet to be out of commission for longer than 3 days with a single infection.

And given that day one of my sniffles coincided with day one of my detox, well, I had no choice but to suck it up and hope for the best.

So, there were 4 x 500ml bottles of fruit or vegetable juices each day, and the good news was that they were all mightily filling & tasty. There was no gagging or greenness (not even with the beetroot, carrot & ginger juice - which tasted like really zingy organic ginger beer - nice!), but the tummy did get a bit annoyed at having to drink everything cold and straight out of the fridge within 20 minutes of opening it (and downing 500ml in 20 mins is no mean feat - and puts a lot of pressure on the old bladder). There were also packs of linseed and cleansing clay mix, but because I was already sensitive of stomach, I ignored the clay stuff & did the linseed instead (a teaspoon left to soak in boiled water in a small beaker all day long & downed just before bed - not as gross as it sounds, and tasted rather like weak cod liver oil thanks to all the nourishing oil that seeps out of the seeds throughout the course of the day).

You're also allowed to drink vegetable broth, but because I did not feel well enough to chop, dice, boil or drain, I mixed Marigold Organic Vegetable Bouillon with boiling water instead (which is what they recommend for lazy cows like me) and it was nice to sup on something hot & steamy when feeling under the weather.

Biggest surprises: that I did not feel sick; that my digestive tract went from sluggish to regular in just 48 hours; that I did not feel too hungry (even if it was nigh on impossible to watch a TV chef baking a hot ginger cake without wanting to go on a rampage & hold up my local bakery), although I did feel really tired and a bit tender (but that was probably the cold rather than the detox... who knows?), but on the whole - far easier than one might have you believe. I could not do it for longer than 3 days though for fear of forgetting how to chew & swallow. God forbid.

I've come out of it with a feeling of energy and have been sleeping well... have also dropped about five pounds (but I always do when I have a cold as I never eat as much), and most importantly, feel as though I am well on the mend. As for when I'll schedule my colonic, well, there's something to be said for building one's strength... and I have had to tell my editor, that, cough cough, I'm afraid that may take some time...

N.B. The next post will dispel all of the above...

#108 Kiddy Cake & Confessions

Two buttery white bread cheese sandwiches and a slice of Smarties cake for dinner (it was my little cousin's 4th birthday. Sweet!) don't really make for inner peace and my belly's still bloated 12 hours later. When I feel icky the temptation is to stay put on the sofa (and when it's raining, as it is now, the inclination is multiplied a million-fold) and indulge in dodgy box-set marathons as opposed to the 26-mile variant, which is really what I happen to need - and have needed for several months, having noticed that the photo on my gym membership card has faded almost entirely away thanks to being left on the sunny windowsill for the best part of the summer. I've grown lazy. Really lazy. SO lazy in fact, that last week my leg went to sleep during my five minute walk to the train station. That's not good.

So, how to motivate yourself when you're feeling distinctly... well... bleurgh?

I have a friend who forces herself to read Teen Vogue on a fat day, knowing that the sight of myriad stick-thin teens will ping her arse to the gym quicker than an email from her eagle-eyed editor. Not healthy, but, well, borderline dysmorphia and psychological torture are her Mr Motivator.

I have another friend who came up with the Slovenly Sunday - a day when she eats and drinks whatever she wants, without reason, and if she's unlucky enough not to throw up spends the next six days making up for it at the gym and with meagre diet dinners. Oh, and she's a health editor at a consumer glossy. Figures.

I also have a stick-thin gay male friend who thrives on Larabars and protein shakes and runs 2 marathons a week to make up for his sky-high alcohol consumption.

Well, needless to say I shan't be choosing any of the aforementioned routes (and if I ever did, would feel the need to chase them with a weekly psychotherapy session, or conversion followed by confession) and shall instead pull on my waterproof boots, trudge down to my local food market in order to refresh & reinvigorate my fridge, and then wander through the park in the rain.

And set my alarm for 7am tomorrow morning in a desperate attempt to get myself to Body Pump and melt away my latest fat deposits (that Charbonnel et Walker Chocolat Chaud was worth it though!) before my membership card melts down from misuse.

Oh, and prepare to laugh at me all next week as I trial the Hydro Healing Classic Detox... which I'm doing for work and involves just 3 juices a day for 3 days, a colonic and... well... I'm guessing a whole lot of tantrums and toilet trips too.

Happy Rebirthday to me.

I'll cry if I want to.

# 107 Run Run Sleep

I've just spent the morning on Twitter and Bloglovin and Style and Susie Bubble and a million other sites that I dip in and out of every day, when I'm feeling a bit... twitchy... and now I'm very very tired.

And everyone everywhere is talking about fashion week, which was more enjoyable than it's ever been (4 blisters/1 stolen bag/2 spilled wines on suede/1 flash of knicker aside), and I've seen myriad marvellous things, but none as interesting as the looks sported by the queueing masses. Fashion has always been obscene, of course; it is nothing more than a giant sprawling auditorium of attention-seekers doing their best to shuffle onto the tiniest of stages, but by god it's such fun too. Getting to see the Christopher Kane show was a highlight (although I was a bit wary of the thin Gingham skirts with thigh-high splits - on the catwalk they looked rather flimsy), because the energy surrounding it was so insane. I got my call & show time muddled up (was supposed to be camped out backstage @ 11am watching the beauty magic happen), but only just made the show in time (@ 2.30pm). More fool me. The funniest moment was spotting my PR friend behind the velvet rope who ushered me into the inner echellons only to be grabbed by a frenzied fashion ed. who pretended to know her (she'd heard me say her name), in the hope that she too could be taken inside. 'I'm sorry,' I said, sincerely, 'I'm beauty, not fashion,' and the twitchy witch recoiled in horror and said, 'Eugh, I see,' before shuffling back to the front of the line in the hope of spotting a Fashion Proper PR. Jo & I giggled about that on the way in, and then I got sidetracked behind Susie Lau (of Susie Bubble) and the entire ELLE fashion team who took up almost 2 rows. No fair. And yes, there was Anna Wintour, and Donatella (looks just as odd in real life), Natalia Vodianova, who literally blew my socks off she was so darn beautiful (and 2 babies!! with the face & body of a nubile teenager!! gah!!) and big daddy Philip Green sat beside his daughter. It was London at its flashiest and despite being one of those no-bullsh*t types, even I felt a fluttering frenzy in the pit of the stomach as things began. When history's being made you can just feel it.

Anyway, I'm back on the sofa today, enamoured of my slippers and PJs, and just over the moon to get a day away from the big city.

On my way home after the end of the final day, I tallied up the 'street style' looks in my head. Purple nail polish and lips (the coolest girls wore Ribena shades); hair wrapped in ribbons (not bows) and pinned with pom-poms; imperfect fingernails (green & matt navy were a hit) and that's about it. I've never seen a season with so little eyeliner or shadow (and most women stuck with nude lips too). That's the funny thing about fashion types - they'll layer up the fur, skins, studs and rivets, and strap on the most horrifying shoes (horrifying from the point of view of the chiropodist; heavenly for anyone else), but a slick of a lip or smear of warpaint is a step too far.

As for me, I got street-snapped just twice, and both times I cringed like an amateur.

And back to bed now, with the laptop, and a week's worth of deadlines to meet.

p.s. Oh, and the title of this post comes courtesy of one of my favourite signed, but pretty much still undiscovered, bands MAUPA. You can pick up their beautiful new album here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Run-Sleep-Maupa/dp/B001G5V3CC

# 106 Oh No You Di'n't!

This recently landed in my inbox and necessitated a prompt response:

TREAT YOURSELF GIRLFRIEND!


Hot on the heels of the hugely successful makeover show, How To Look Good Naked, comes a brand new fragrance and beauty range of the same name.

Perfect for much deserved pampering or as a Christmas gift for friends and relatives, the range includes luxury stocking fillers and head-to-toe gift sets. All presented in stunning lilac and cream bottles, they are almost too good to open!

Now, it might sell like Cream Egg McFlurries, but regardless of how well you're able to style up a bargain bin item, there's no dressing up an endorsement-whore after a quick cash-fix...

...and I've always thought the world of Gok - good and funny and sweet and sensible.... but a "beauty" range (stocked at Argos) is a monumental mis-step...

...and it really ain't his style.

# 105 Overrated and Out

I am a smiley and happy person. Always have been. I enjoy all the little things - movies, mornings, Dairy Milk and live music - and spend most days strolling around with a spring in my step. Venting spleen is not a regular part of my repertoire, or it wasn't until I set up this blog. And perhaps because I have this outlet for my secret frustration (The editor wants me to write about what?!! But it's crap!!! Please, can I not just say that it is CRAP!!!? I can't? Why not? I'm fired?! You can't do that!!!! - is how the scene would play out in the middle of an open office), I am far less inclined to gripe about the other stuff. Such as the fact that the only men who ever hit on me are of the unwashed and obnoxious variety; that my bus journey home takes 20 minutes on a good day and an hour and 20 minutes on the one Friday night when I'm making dinner for friends; that they've screwed up the X Factor format beyond repair and that James McAvoy is happily married (and in my world of fictional singledom, this troubles me: cue heart-string twinge).

So, to kick my weekend off in sunny style, I'm offloading a few of my beauty bugbears... in the hope that they might just put a conspiratorial smile on your face too.


Eve Lom Cleanser
Yes, yes, I know - it really does work miracles on some people. And I should know. I was one of the converted for two good skin years, when despite the occasional deep, cystic breakout (should have known!) I reached a pleasing plateau of glow and softness. Then, Eve forgive me, I quit (because I have a problem with how much money she charges for what is essentially a pot of dirt-cheap mineral oil)and my skin manifested itself into what could only be described as a plague upon my face. It took months for things to go back to normal and when I attempted to crawl back to this cleanser, tail between legs, it just wouldn't have me. Spot central. Oh, and don't like the smell either. Polite beauty editors call it 'medicinal' or 'herbal'... don't be fooled... it smells distinctly unnatural... a bit like grubby rubber. On another note, when I started using it (about 8 years ago now), the formula was creamier (and felt better on the skin) than it does now, when I've noticed that it's become grainier.

Salt Scrubs (in general)

Perhaps it's just me, but I've never found a salt scrub that actually does what it says on the packet. I've tried Elemis, The Sanctuary, The Body Shop, Bliss etc etc and the sensation is always distinctly uncomfortable and refuses to produce any ostensible difference (besides redness). Why are they so popular? In the most basic terms you are taking hundreds of shard-edged crystals and scratching them up and down your body and while the surrounding oils may do your skin some good, the salt seems like the obvious miscreant in the equation. Now I steer clear of scrubs altogether and load up my cheap-as-chips Superdrug Exfoliating Gloves with moisturising body wash and have a good rubdown.



Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream
I dislike this for all the same reasons that I dislike the Eve Lom cleanser. It's packed with mineral oil and lanolin (a common irritant) and has the sort of "herbal" (READ: petrol-chemical) smell that turns my stomach. It chapped my lips something chronic, scared the bejesus out of my husband (who said it tasted revolting; kisses off menu for about a month thereafter), and the more I used it, the worse things got. And just to clarify, once and for all, petrolatum cannot hydrate skin. It has no water in it, and as an oil is not refined enough to penetrate even the most superficial layers of skin. It sits atop of the surface, providing a barrier to foreign bodies/drying air currents etc etc certainly, but not doing anything more miraculous than that... which leads me onto...

Vaseline

A ha. Another one. So it looks cool slicked over eyelids and high on cheekbones (on the floodlit runway; in real life it just looks greasy), but it does nothing whatsoever to moisturise lips or any other part of the body. It can make a temporary difference to cracked heels and hands, when worn with conditioning gloves for example, but the results will be short-lived. It does not heal or repair or protect. It is the most basic and bog standard of products, with no beautifying power at its disposal. What-so-ever.


Eyeko Sparkly Eye Pencil

The little kid in me, who used to collect comic books, wear pink capes and sketch Manga-style heroines in Physics lessons, can still be drawn to the quirky beauty brands, but my run in with Eyeko's Sparkly Eye Pencil was far from comical. I foolishly opened it up and ran it along my lashline without testing it on my skin first. Christ, the pain. It's glass-hard, scratchy and uneven (thanks to all the real glitter particles in it...). If you've ever glitter & glued as a child and accidentally rubbed your eyes, you'll know how I felt. This one's a health hazard.


Revlon Beyond Natural Skin Matching Foundation

'It goes on white and adjusts to match your exact skin tone.' Ha! My palest friend looked as though she had been tangoed and I took on a very scary tan shoe polish, with a lovely greasy tide mark around my chin for good measure. Fetching. Ladies, be very wary of anything that says it will change colour to match your complexion... which leads us to...

...Estee Lauder Daywear Plus Sheer Tint Release Formula
The exact same thing. I used it after a shower at the gym. It felt and smelt rather nice, blended easily (feeling much more like a day cream than foundation), and then I hopped on the tube and into town. Woe be-tide mark. The same greasy film of fake tan-ness over skin and when I blew my nose I left a Rorschach Test behind on the sheet. Ick.


Bliss Steep Clean Cleanser
I have a bit of a problem with Bliss in general really. The professional theory sounds enticingly strong (we're famed for our facials, get our skincare here &, voila, have a pro-style treatment at home), but I've never felt it delivers. Regardless of what beauty editors recommend on their pages, what they actually use is what really speaks volumes (and to discover that you have to trawl their cabinets just like every other nosey dinner guest), and I've never found a single one of my beauty ed friends who uses Bliss products themselves. Body, sure! But for face? The formulas all seem a bit too strong, harsh, drastic... take this cleanser for example. The website says: Steep Clean Cleansing Milk is the ultimate cleansing weapon for t-zones that are bogged down by clogging or worse, clad with acne. Formulated with smoothing salicylic acid and enzymes to digest dead cells and diminish inflammation. It's 'the bomb' on breakouts. My beauty ed hackles go up here, because I know that if you're using an enzymatic and salicylic acid formula twice a day, every day, it's more than likely that you'll get to a point where skin will sensitize, or be over-stripped, and then it will begin to play up again. Which is what happened to me. It might work for those with excessively greasy T-zones, but then again, I'm a staunch believer in treating oily skin conditions with oil-based products. 'The bomb' should've been warning enough really...


Embryolisse Cream
Every bloody year 'the models' rave on about this French pharmacy find, which apparently works all number of miracles 'eet's so sooooothing! eet's so caaaaaaalming, eet's soooooo gooooood!'. It's mineral oil is what it is. So, it's not really any better than E45 or any of the other bog standard emollient white creams you get from the chemist... and it absolutely won't work any miracles. Models look that way already. Sorry, but someone had to let you in on the secret.


Kate Somerville Gentle Daily Wash
I had heard and read so many wonderful things about this LA facialist to the stars that when the lovely Space NK PR sent half the line over for me to test, I was convinced I'd find my new favourite thing. What is it they say about great expectations? It left my skin with that horrible if-I-smile-I'm-sure-to-split feeling and a tingle that lasted over an hour. Thank the lord I didn't start with the Purify Cleanser. Ouch.