#86 Best of 2008

Taking stock of the spare room, which is now a little sparser thanks to the annual clearout (AKA palming off products to friends & family, instead of buying gifts), has jogged the ol' memory and reminded me of the various things I have loved this year.

My most impressive find of 2008:

Illamasqua Eyelash Curlers - I've used Shu, Mister Mascara, Suqqu, Shiseido... and they were all fine (Shu Uemura was probably the best out of the latter bunch) - but these babies make my lashes shoot for the stars in just a couple of seconds and without risk of wrist injury from repetitive compressing/depressing motion. A great find.

My favourite skincare launch of 2008:

Sarah Chapman Skinesis. I've been using it almost exclusively for the past four months and my skin is very soft, has been far less spotty than normal, and really does have a most un-winter-like glow. The Ultimate Cleanser isn't in the shops yet, but it's a winner. It melts into the skin just like soft butter and leaves it springy to the touch. I'm seriously impressed.

My favourite hair products of 2008:


KMS Makeover Spray (grease? kapow!)has saved my life on more than one occasion

Kerastase Ciment Thermique for strengthening strands when they're feeling brittle

Redken Glass 01 before blow-drying, for when you want hair to look insanely shiny

And as far as failsafe hair-healing conditioners go, it's back to Aveda Damage Remedy Conditioner. A real star.

(p.s. I tried Shu Uemura Art of Hair Muroto Volume range yesterday and did not really like it. My hair was no bigger & the scent was too perfume-y. It did make my hair nice and shiny though - although a bit too static-prone. An overall thumbs down. Bah humbug, I know.)

My favourite body products of 2008:

I tried EVERYTHING this year and had short-lived love affairs with:
Yes to Carrots Body Butter (which I became less impressed with over time as it seemed to develop a knack of blocking pores on my arms and legs. Ick.)

Trilogy Everything Balm (lovely when skin is damp & hot e.g. after a sauna, as it sinks straight in and leaves you feeling like a basted chicken. In a really good way. Not so good at moisturising dry skin though.)

Then, I found my way back to Nuxe Huile Prodigieuse, and I'm very glad I did, because I'd almost forgotten how good this stuff is. And the scent - soft, powdery, chic with a hint of buttery honey - always makes me smile.

My favourite make-up of 2008:

Lipstick Queen in Medieval - makes skin look somehow brighter while never overpowering the face

Jemma Kidd new PRO line - just wait for 2009!

Ruby + Millie Lip Color in Orange 350C - the perfect pop of blood orange

Dior Addict High Shine Lipstick in 554 Backstage Pink - loved the fuchsia that Cheryl Cole kept sporting on X Factor? This is the closest I have come to finding it.

And, a surprise new entry in the long-lasting lippy category: TIGI Bedhead Lip Crayon in Perfect Pink - this stayed put through a 2-hour movie (+ popcorn & pick 'n' mix), followed by cocktails & dinner. Good stuff.

And my other big-thumbs-up beauty finds of 2008:


Origins Organics Totally Pure Deodorant (antibacterial, refreshing & zingy on freshly shorn armpits)

Marc Jacobs Splash in Gardenia (granny in a really really good way)


Dr Weil for Origins Mega Mushroom Mask (great for when skin is conjuring associations with Edward Munch's The Scream)

Dermalogica Stress Relief Candles (a smile-inducing scent even when unlit!)


NEOM Organic Luxury Unwind Skin Treatment Bath Oil (the most perfect blend of lavender and patchouli)

And there you have it. What a cracker.

#85 Big Head

There's something happening with hair. Beeeg hair. The sort of hair that looks like you've held up a candyfloss man at a fair and woven his sugar confections into your own strands. Virginia Woolf sort of hair, that billows out from beneath a hat, streaks the forehead with nimbus fingers, catches the light as though it is a cocoon of woven silk. Diana Vickers was onto it. Amy W would've ended up there were it not for her mane's metamorphosis from beehive to egghead. Duffy has it a bit, and Blake Lively does it well, though where hair is concerned, she is at a genetic advantage. Growl.

Also catching on are the haircare brands, as the next few months see a spate of big hair launches (as in big hair, not big launches for hair).

There is Shu Uemura Art of Hair's new MUROTO VOLUME range; L'Oreal Volume Expand MINERAL CA and Age Densiforce lines and the launch of L'Oreal Professionnel's Texture Expert Expansion Mousse.

So far I have only tried the Volume Expand MINERAL CA range. I've used the shampoo and conditioner, minus the volumising styling mousse. The range is for fine hair - I have relatively fine strands, but lots of them - and yes, it did make a significant difference to the fatness of my head. It uses mineral calcium to bulk and stiffen strands. However, lathering it up felt incredibly bizarre, as though my hair were being rinsed with glue - there is no silkiness of slipperiness to be expected from this shampoo. After slowly rinsing it out (and being careful not to break strands with clumsy fingers which seemed to catch on my now-tacky, almost brittle, cuticles), I layered on the conditioner, left for a couple of minutes, rinsed. I could see that where my normal haircare duo keeps the damaged flyaways along my parting nice and flat, this lot made them stand up on end as though I were the lovechild of Mister Majeka. Combing through was tricky too - hair was far far knottier than normal. But, here is the genius part. Once hair was blowdried it just went 'pouff' (in a good way)- feeling thick, pliable, swishy, soft AND it didn't get greasy for 4 whole days, which I couldn't quite believe. I wouldn't recommend it for everyday use - my hair needs intensive conditioning at least twice a week - but for those times when you need a workable, grippable base - this will be just the ticket. All in all, this is a good bet for this season's big head. Not least of all because you'll develop a dangerous habit of catching your own reflection and double-taking at just how much hair you had all along, but just weren't making the most of. Swish.

#62 Join the Line

Something odd's happening. For years and years, the only girls I ever spied wearing inky eyeliner were either channelling a goth, punk or retro aesthetic - oh, and then there was my mum, who hasn't left the house without her customary slash of molten kohl, for, gosh, I'd say coming up to thirty years. But, all of a sudden, it's everywhere. I've seen lid-flicks on so many different women in the last month (none of whom are Amy Winehouse), that I have no choice but to assume we're in the midst of a full-fledged frenzy - hell, even my make-up shunning mate turned up to an East London gig wearing nothing but electric blue ticks - and no, they weren't on her trainers. It's easy to see the attraction. A well-lined upper lid does something extraordinary to eyes - it's like wearing a thick rack of false lashes, except you don't have to worry about them falling off or getting a globule of glue in the eye. Focus is immediately shifted to the peepers and even the least likely to flutter take on a doe-eyed quality - something that Lily Allen (who, let's face it, looks a stone's throw away from ordinary without it) has mastered well. Add an inky line and eyes are immediately more intense, flirtier, sexier - get the line right and even piggy eyes can be transformed into Pocahontas style slits.

The problem is, the trend has stolen my thunder. I've always loved a good flick. So much so, in fact, that I've spent the best part of the decade trying to settle on the single most foolproof way to cultivate a precise, symmetrical set of lines. There are several additions to the market this month that promise to make the enterprise easier. Bad news is that most of them are TERRIBLE. They promise foolproof application and long-wearing colour, when in truth, they dribble on and rub off at the first sign of a sweat.

First up, Estee Lauder Double Wear Zero Smudge Liquid Eyeliner in After Hours. It's limited edition this one, which is no bad thing, as it's really rather dire. Even after giving it a good shake, the consistency borders on fountain pen ink - watery, imprecise, lacking in definition. The brush isn't terrible - it's a sort of hard, pointy felt tip - but the wand is too long, making it difficult to manoeuvre it along the eyelid. The long-lasting formula also flakes, rather than wipes, away - annoying when you're trying to correct the line with a cotton bud dipped in make-up remover.

Next up, the new L'Oreal Superliner Carbon Gloss. The formula's better with this one - you get a TRUE, inky, deep pigment, but once again, the wand's not up to much. The 'precision tip' liner is basically a pliable piece of skinny sponge that does not have anywhere near enough firmness to create a neat line. I've used it about 3 times now and the result has steadily improved, but it's another example of a design that's making an already-tricky technique even trickier. It's got the same flake-away formula as the Estee Lauder wand too (although not quite as bad), which means that if you want to neaten up the flicks afterwards, you're invariably taking away an entire clump of the stuff, rather than leaving a neat, precise line behind.

Then there's MAC Liquidlast Liner. It has the best formula of the lot, but still, application ain't child's play. You've already got to be pretty savvy with a stick to get the line of your dreams - but at least it comes in a dazzling array of colours and the formula doesn't flake away when approached by make-up remover.

My favourites? I have two. One is Shu Uemura Liquid Eyeliner. It's an exquisitely crafted brush pen - press lightly against the eyelid and you'll get a thin line, press harder and the line will widen, but it won't wobble or look uneven. The ink dispenser button at the bottom also means that it lasts an eternity without drying out or up - something that can happen a lot faster with pot-style liners.

But, you still need a steady hand for the Shu (and yes, some practice). The real foolproof option (and one that I go back to when I'm in a rush in the morning), is a flat liner brush (the Ruby + Millie Eyeliner Brush is cheap and also, the best I've ever tried), dipped in water and then pressed into a jet black shadow. Tap off the excess and then, looking into the mirror, simply line the brush up with lashline on the upper lid and press down onto skin. It will leave a neat black dash behind, and work steadily across the lid, wetting and dipping the brush again if colour starts to weaken, until you have a neat line running all the way across the lid. For a flick at the outer corner of the eye, simply angle the brush slightly upwards and away from the lashline and press against skin - it will leave a short, neat flick behind that you'd struggle to get first time with an inky liner - and unlike inky formulas, it can easily be neatened up with make-up remover.

Go on, catch a flick. You won't regret it.

#19 The Fairer Sex...

I’ve not had much experience with men as Mr Malcontent was pretty much my first love. We met when we were still young in mind and body, fresh of face and hopeful of heart. Many years have passed and things are still pretty darn good. The inevitable things have changed – nowadays I rarely bother with the good underwear, he wears a pair of pyjama bottoms with more holes than fabric – in fact, wardrobe-wise, Mr Malcontent is not too bothered. I don’t mind – he has a good eye, skilfully skirting the line between scruffy and sexy and besides, I’ve never really wanted him to be a Hugo Boss man. I’d rather have a H&M boy any day of the week. In fact, the only fine-tuning that Mr M has proved susceptible to is not of the sartorial variety. The change has, in fact, taken place within his cosmetic closet instead. Sod’s Law dictates that Mr M has impeccable, beautiful skin. Clear and temperate with an outdoorsy smattering of freckles across his nose and cheeks – boyish and youthful. He does not look his age. Sod’s Law also dictates that he had never taken an ounce of care with his complexion – when we first met, he was using shampoo as a face and body wash. I think it was Vosene. He was prone to dryness, a bit of eczema and as I entered the beauty arena, my knowledge and access to information filtered down to him. As did my continual product passover. You see, he would never spend more than a couple of quid on himself, but his eyes light up like fireflies when I hand him a bag of new booty. He gets face creams, self-tans, firming gels, eye lotions, lip balms… he has become my official male tester. There have been a few hiccups along the way. He’d been using self-tan as an everyday moisturiser, rubbing it into his eyes and wondering why his hands had turned a bizarre burnt-ochre colour overnight. So now, along with pricey products, I also pass on foolproof instructions first. When something’s good, he’s eager to tell me about it. He really liked Lush Afterlife – a cream that I hadn’t high hopes for. He said it made his dry skin feel comfortable and improved it within days. He also loves Nickel Morning After Rescue Gel. He uses it after a night when he’s struggled to sleep and insists that it makes him look fresher. He’s currently using The Sanctuary Cleansing Facial Wash and Protective 24 Hour Moisture Lotion SPF 15. Sneaky of me to give him an SPF-laden lotion, as he’s loath to apply suncare during the day, but the combination is working well. His skin has been clear and blemish-free for a couple of months now – he used to get the odd spot almost fortnightly. He also favours Caudalie Lip Conditioner (having tried Clarins, Chapstick and Neutrogena) and liked Lancôme’s men’s range too – in particular the face wash. New likes include Kiehl’s Eye Alert, which he’s been patting on in the mornings and the Shu Uemura Depsea Moisture Replenishing Cream – which he went through at an alarming rate. If it weren’t so expensive, I’d have bought him a new pot. At bathtime, believe it or not, he’s cleaned me out of MOP Basil + Mint Shampoo and Conditioner. It’s a great formula for his fine hair and he likes the herby smell (that’s his stifled chef talking), even if I’m not too fond of it. That’s another bonus, not only does he provide me with valuable male insights, but he also Pac Man’s his way through my growing giftbags – clearing space for future finds. And though these insignificant scenarios do not form the core of a stable relationship, it is certainly a flawless foundation for a marriage of cosmetic convenience. A-men.

#16 Bloody Cheek...

It’s fashionable to have a good old rant nowadays. If you moan and whinge and say rude, obscene, controversial things, chances are you’ll be embraced by the British public and topical debate shows will be falling over themselves to get you into a plastic chair in the hope that you’ll say something incendiary and send the ratings meter into overdrive. This crotchety new climate rather scares me, but having spent a fair few years working in the media it is, regrettably, a climate that has managed to dampen my natural, implausible cheeriness. Yes, it’s all very Devil Wears Prada, but I was once a lowly unpaid intern at the biggest magazine of all and it was during this time that I learned my first valuable and unforgettable media life lesson. If you are a ‘liker’, then my dear, I am afraid that you are deeply, whisper-inducingly uncool. The worst (and most successful) breed of Mag Hag runs around hating everything and everyone. Vitriolically, passionately, biliously dissecting and descrying all in their eye-line. C words are spat out more frequently than full-fat lattes and celebrities, icons and artists are all ugly, or fat, or stoned, or gay, or sleeping-with-the-boss; clubs are crap, restaurants ridiculous, the play du jour is dross and the book that everyone is reading is tasteless, dull and pedestrian. I was terrified of my new workplace – an office of silence, punctuated with piercing, self-aggrandising squawks. Thankfully, further down the line, there were other offices too – friendly, cake-eating, chatty ones – and it became apparent that it was possible to write for a magazine, smile a lot of the time, eat chocolate buttons with your editors and utter the words, ‘She’s so beautiful,’ without being shot down. And, though I might be prone to the occasional super-sized spleen vent, most of the time, I’m a lover, not a hater. So, on this sunniest of spring days – here’s some positivity: Shu Uemura Glow On in P Red 14. A bloody crazy Pete Burns breed of colour – it’s the antidote to all the blushers out there with names like Caress, Whisper or Sigh. In the packet it is pink-in-heat and a generous dusting will create a loud cry of colour across the cheekbone. However, it can also be blended down to give a 'less likely to scare the boys away' pinched-cheek pink. It’s my current NBF – New Best Find - and we're inseparable.