#64 Diminished Responsibility

It was bound to happen. After years of using my complexion as a testing ground for cosmetics, I finally suffered an allergic reaction that left my skin eczema-ridden, swollen, sore, itchy and bumpy for the best part of a week. The culprit? There are several.

First up, is a product that is part of a soon-to-be launched skincare line Elemental Herbology. Not wanting to jump to any erroneous conclusions, it should be said that on the day in question I also used the Elemis Papaya Enzyme Peel, which I have used several times before and with no ill effects, followed by the Dermalogica Hydrating Mask (ditto).

I chased these treatments with a layer of Elemental's Oil-Free Moisturiser, having used their Purify & Soothe Cleanser earlier that same day. The moment I applied the cleanser to my skin I felt an unusual tingling - and retrospectively checking the ingredients list, I was suprised to see that it contained Bitter Orange Peel Powder, a fruit-acid rich addition with exfoliating properties that I can only assume was the initial root of the problem. Add to this a further fruit-enzyme-based peel and then a layer of Retinol-rich face cream and there you have it - a riddled complexion that felt as though I had broken out in goosebumps, but rather than subside in minutes, the irritable sensation and swollen appearance (my face looked discernibly chubby and puffy) stayed put for four days - during which time I was also obliged to neck regular anti-histamines to calm the burning and itching sensation.

Not fun, but lord knows, it was an important and sobering wake-up call. I had - unforgiveably given my job title - tried these products without so much as a glance at the ingredients lists. Had I noticed the fruit enzymes within the Elemental Herbology cleanser, I would certainly have steered clear of the Peel as I am well aware of just how badly my skin reacts when it is over-exfoliated. On the same note, had I realised just how much I'd been stripping away at my skin, I would've avoided chasing my treatments with a cream containing retinol - simply because, as many other members of the population can testify, it is an ingredient to which many people's skins react badly. The fact is, that morning I wanted my skin to look brighter than normal and spent half an hour mixing and matching products - essentially (and unwittingly) brewing a powerful, and dangerous, cosmetics cocktail in the comfort of my own bathroom. I did not for one moment consider the fact that my actions might have unexpected consequences and when they did, I was so shocked that I had absolutely no idea what to do.

What I learned was that if you suffer an allergic reaction to a skincare product, an anti-histamine will be your best friend. It will dull itching and soreness to a point where you can continue with your day as normal - even if your skin looks far from normal. I dug out a few back-up cosmetics - things I'd been told were great for allergic and sensitized skintypes. First up, I used Embryolisse (a cream available from French pharmacies that the model types seem to swear by). Horrible! Full of mineral oil, it sat greasily atop my skin and did nothing to mollify or calm the dry patches around my cheeks and chin. I then tried Avene - the Skin Recovery Cream felt good when first applied, but the same thing - it's full of mineral oil so after a few hours it felt sticky, rather than soothing and wasn't up to much when it came to moisturising power either. The chin flakes stayed put and as expected, after two days of Embryolisse and Avene moisturisers coupled with the inability to properly cleanse my skin due to its fragility, I had six spots on my chin, one on my upper lip and three on my forehead. That's a year's worth of spots in four days - well, that's mineral oil for you!

So, last night, out of sheer desperation and because my skin had almost returned to feeling normal, I layered Liz Earle's Cleanse & Polish over my skin, steamed with a warm and clean face cloth and very very gently buffed away at my skin, removing all the mineral grime and pore clogs that had taken root over the week. My god. It felt amazing. As though my face was doing the breathing for my entire body. Yes, I was spotty, but that was the least of my concerns - my skin felt soft and unsticky for the first time in days. Not wanting to overload my face with anything else, I melted a tiny amount of Darphin's Purifying Balm between my palms and patted it onto my cheeks, chin and forehead - pressing it onto my skin instead of rubbing. Thank goodness, no allergic reaction happened overnight and I woke up to a much improved reflection - spots less angry, skin rosier and, hooray, no flakes or oily patches anywhere to be seen. The relief was immense - I could venture out again, go into meetings confidently, return to my skin-friendly make-up (I've been bare and thunder-faced all week) - my skin was mine again.

So, at the end of the day, it would seem that there is only one suspect involved in my complexion crime - ME - or more precisely, my lack of attention to what I was applying to my skin. If an allergic reaction on this scale can happen to someone who knows their stuff, then what sort of minefields can women who never ever read their labels fall into? Not only has this debacle highlighted my own laziness and ignorance - but it's also shown up a flaw in the cosmetics labelling system. Getting great skin isn't about buying and trying all of the most potent products out there - that's just the quickest route to a raging complexion and quite possibly, sensitized skin that will be far more susceptible to premature ageing. It's essential to know your stuff. To have some basic idea of which ingredients complement or fight against one another and, if possible, to get expert advice before embarking on a new skincare regime.

In a bid to keep my skin healthy I've sworn off all future epidermal experiments - for good. I shall now only try things on the advice of my new dermatologist and facialist - yes, I've caved in and sought professional advice, which I shall of course be sharing and passing onto you over the coming months. As far as breakthroughs go, it's a small one for mankind, but hey, it's a pretty big one for my long-suffering skin.

#60 Helping Husband

I attended a wedding last month, where my friend's husband - extremely cute in a Mark Owen/Richard Hammond/James McAvoy sort of way - looked utterly dreadful. Bless him. Red eyes, dark circles, patchy skin and a little breakout on the chin. The couple spent several hours on the night regaling guests with stories of just how insomniac, anxious, busy and run down they'd become in the run up... she on the other hand looked flawless, because, as is a bride's right, she'd chosen to have a professional hair and make-up artist transform her from under-fed and hollow-eyed, to glistening cheekboned and ruby-lipped. She might have missed a few winks, but there were no missed opportunities amidst the menfolk, who flocked to her like moths to Greta Garbo's ember-tipped cigarette - she'd never looked better. A few weeks later, I quizzed her on the routine and it came as no surprise that on the morning of the wedding she'd used a cleanser, exfoliator, two masks, eye patches, a calming oil and massage technique (borrowed from her facialist) and then had several primers, highlighters and bases expertly blended and applied by her premier artist. As for her hubby - who's since bounced back to his charming ways - he rolled out of bed after a mere 25 minutes sleep, washed, shaved and patted on moisturiser - hoping for the best, but feeling somewhat hollow and harrowed by the puffy-eyed man looking back at him in the mirror.

This is where I become exasperated. Had he known just three or four simple tricks (his wife was in no position to help, sleeping as they did in separate parts of the country the night before) - he could have fixed his face with minimal fuss and spent the night with chest puffed out, rather than deflated in self-conscious apology.

Having chatted to several of my best-looking and well kempt colleagues, I feel the need to share the following...

1) If you have had no sleep the night before and need to look your best, be gentle with your skin. Overzealous cleansing, exfoliating and shaving will leave your complexion looking as you feel: irritable.

2) A few basics: if your skin is calm, but just looks dull and tired, invest in an enlivening, radiance-enhancing product, such as Nickel Morning After Rescue Gel, £24 (www.nickelspalondon.co.uk) - do not use immediately after shaving.

3) If your skin looks dry and patchy, after cleansing try a mask that will even out skintone such as Dermalogica Multi-Vitamin Power Recovery Mask, £21.35 (hqhair.com).

4) If you have dark circles around your eyes, couple an eye gel or cream with light-reflective properties (my brother loves Lab Series Age Rescue Eye Therapy, £25 (hqhair.com) ) with a concealer. Many will know that I'm not a big fan of YSL's Touche Eclat - and on men in particular, it's very easily spotted (especially when looking back at photographs!). I therefore recommend Laura Mercier Secret Concealer, £18, because it comes in three SKIN-like colours and blends in seamlessly. For best results, apply eye cream and while skin is still the tiniest bit spongey with moisture, tap the concealer all along the orbital bone (the hollowest part of the undereye) with a little finger. When blended, stop.

5) There is no treatment on earth that will get rid of spots instantly. If you are well-off and well-connected, you can book in for an emergency spot shot from a reputable dermatologist(otherwise known as a cortisone injection), but for mere mortals, DIY methods must suffice. I don't rate toothpaste at all - I've seen girls with red rashes after regular zit attacks with the stuff.

If you have no time to spare, my best advice is to take a teeny bit of aspirin, grind it up and add a bit of water to make a paste and dab it directly onto the spot. Leave for a a couple of minutes then rinse away with ice cold water. This will take down some swelling and redness. Another great option is to pop eye whitening drops, which constrict blood vessels thereby reducing blood flow (and redness), directly onto the spot. My current favourite blemish cover-up is Avene Couvrance Concealer Brush, £11 (boots.com). It is a pen-style applicator and comes in a beige and a green shade. If you can afford both, I'd recommend using the green concealer on red areas first, before blending, and then brushing the beige colour over that. Faffy it may be, but the formula blends down to utter invisibility and has never once felt heavy on my cake-prone skin.

Poor guys. I may not be receptive to the ongoing male battle to keep tools in trousers, but I'm certainly more than sympathetic should they choose to whip the odd trick out of their sleeves.

#27 Witchcraft and the Wardrobe

I used to watch MTV’s Cribs for one specific reason – to get a look at just how large some of those walk-in closets were. Most of them were bigger than my bedroom. Some outsized my garden. A handful even surpassed the entire top floor of my house. My sister would get shoe envy; my brother, trainer rage… me? I’d be bedazzled, but never jealous, and after sitting goggle-eyed through the fiftieth or so show, I actually began to feel relief… relieved that my pedestrian, self-assembled cupboard (it really isn’t even glam enough to be classified as a wardrobe) was a normal ‘mortal’ size and therefore the perfect form of contraception – against ill-advised credit-card blowouts. I’ve never been able to go too loopy with the card in Zara – I mean, I’ve got nowhere to put any new purchases, so why buy them? The fact is, seeing all those rows, pegs, drawers, shelves and rails of shimmering, glittering, blinding pieces of leather and fabric, I’d be struck with one thought and one thought only – how on earth do these people choose what to wear in the morning?

That was several years ago and now, ironically, I face a similar dilemma on a daily basis. Not what to wear – I’m a simple dress & trench kinda girl – but what to put on my face and body. It’s ever-changing – it has to be, or I’d have nothing valid to write. At the moment I’m doing an oil-free thing. So I’m using Avene’s new Soothing Hydrating Serum, which I adore, followed by Clinique Moisture Surge. I am using Bliss Steep Clean Cleanser (not oil-free) – which I really like because it provides me with a thorough cleanse (to the point where my nose looked like a polished coin), but then I got a spot on my forehead and a couple of little bumps on my cheeks and had a beauty-ed-style panic, so decided to try Vaishaly Facial Wash in the morning (as it has an anti-bacterial action, but isn’t drying) and stick with Bliss at night (because it makes light work of daily grime and make-up). I had been using The Sanctuary Perfectly Polished Hot Cloth Cleanser. It made my skin feel lovely and soft, but unfortunately, as someone who’s prone to the odd spot and some serious oiliness, it wasn’t doing the trick. Too many oils and emollients in there for my liking – but working wonders on my mum’s dry, mature complexion.

Base-wise, I’m now rotating Clinique Moisture Sheer Tint with Murad Sunblock Sheer Tint during the day – both give a very subtle, but healthy, pinch of colour and are oil-free + SPF. Good news for me and my ever-shiny skin. At night, when I know I should be packing more anti-oxidants onto my skin, well, I’m not. I’m simply sticking with the same Avene + Clinique combo. I’m tempted to start using DCL’s C-Scape Serum. Or go back to Estee Lauder’s Night Repair. Or try Chantecaille Vital Essence. There’s something that lands on the desk everyday, that in truth, I’m tempted to pat onto my long-suffering, testing ground of a visage. Ooh, this will alleviate dark circles. This will give me even, ivory, yes I could be Mischa Barton’s sister type skin. That will hoover out the contents of any unsightly pores and leave me glowing like a scrubbed peach. Except, I’m not me of yesteryear – or of ten years ago. Now I know that there is no point in ‘the claim’. The proof is in the product. Yes, the item behind door number one might make my nose less shiny, but it won’t make me any less hardnosed. Skin saviours are not unearthed overnight. It takes weeks to work out what’s working and what isn’t. The cosmetic closet might be bursting at the seams – those Cribs hoochies ain’t got nothing on me – but I’m taking my time. And taking my regime one step at a time. Just as the dermatologist intended.