#89 Coral Blimey

There is a colour that I have had in my make-up bag for over ten years. It has outlasted the neons, the nudes and the naturals, and though it has been made by different brands and come in many, many guises - nail lacquers, cream blushes, lipsticks, glosses and eyeshadows - as far as I'm concerned, it has never gone out of fashion. CORAL. I've never understood the maligning maelstrom that seems to surround this particular shade - or the granny-chat that crops up in the ongoing debate. The fact is, that of all the colours you can slap on your skin and nails, coral will always be one of the most flattering. Think smile-inducing tangerine with a hint-of-pink - avoid anything frosted - and you'll hit upon the mark.

So, where to look?

No 7 Stay Perfect Lipstick in Gay Geranium - a lovely shade that wouldn't look out of place on a late 1930s film set (the name is rather fitting too don't you think?), but also looks great with a very modern, bare face

Korres Colour Blush in 45 Coral - the sort of colour that elicits an 'oooh' in the packet and a smile on the cheek

MAC Tinted Lip Conditioner in Gentle Coral - great for everyday, if you can stomach the sugar-sweet scent

RMK Nail Color in Translucent Coral and RMK Mix Colours for Cheeks in Orange (coral, bronze and pink shades in a single palette) - this company really has a knack for pretty pinks and sweet orange-based shades

And don't pass up Kiss Me Coral which was reissued by Revlon last February following its runaway runway success at Roksanda Ilincic.


My one lost love? Giorgio Armani Sheer Creme Blush in Shade 3 or 5 (I can't remember the number, but know it is nothing like either of the current shades 3 and 5). It was a fiery, warm, terracotta coral that worked absolute wonders on every skintone - I tried it on my milk-white best friend, my coffee-skinned sister and on my own olive-toned face - it just worked every darn time. Then, for a reason that it is still unbeknown to me, they went and discontinued it. Had I been given a heads up, I would've bought the lot. Oh Coral. I am but a fool (for you).

#76 The Pretty Penny Drops...

Despite years of fingers in pots, there are a few beauty mistakes and misdemeanours that stand out... things I've done wrong, for too long, before realising the error of my ways.

My first confession comes in the form of Origins Incredible Spreadable Scrub. I've written about this before after a couple of uses and well, my skin never really saw the light. Recently, however, it occurred to me that I might simply smear the paste onto my arms, legs, bottom and thighs, once damp and hot from showering, leave it on for a few minutes, which is enough time for the scratchy salty granules to soften and begin to dissolve, and then rub, gently, until the formula disentegrates completely. The other thing I realised was that I didn't need to moisturise afterwards - the oils in the scrub do an admirable job. Bizarrely, ever since skipping the moisturiser and going easier on the scrub, my skin's been transformed - truly - and is as soft as it would be after a two week beach holiday. Happy days.

Other mistakes I've made in the past involve retinol. Where my skin has reacted (growing red, puffy or sore), I've felt assaulted and left the product well alone. As it turns out, anyone using retinol for the first time can expect a reaction - be it spottier skin than normal or a more delicate disposition. Bear with it, and reduce usage from every night to every other night (or 2/3 times a week) and things should improve. As the savvy facialist Sarah Chapman assured me - the moment she began using retinol, some ten years ago now, her skin went insane. But, once settled, she rarely suffered a breakout again - and her skin is even, clear and plump. That's proof enough for me. And with retinol usage of any kind, you must must must wear sunscreen every day afterwards.

Then there's mascara. I've lived the majority of my 30 years on earth convincing myself that I do not need it. I have dark lashes and big eyes and, well, mascara has just always been one of those things that seem too unnecessary a hassle to bother with in the morning. Then I learned that less is more. A great wand, jet black, rammed into the root of the lash and wiggled about before being drawn through upper lashes just once, is a real eye-opener. Since wearing mascara in this way, I've used far less make-up elsewhere - if the eyes are framed, everything else sort of falls into place. A great new wand that's got my vote is Lashfusion Pure Protein Lash Plump. Great non-cloggy formula. Thick, rich blackness. Lovely brush and impressive lash-fattening power. Chatecaille and No7 also make wonderful mascaras. I take a daily dose now and wouldn't dream of stopping.

The other product I've recently fallen for is hair removal cream. I know - hardly glamourous. For years, however, I was a waxer. I've always been fairly peach-fuzzy of face and like a clean jaw and top lip (despite hair being fair) and have discovered that by removing hair entirely from these areas, my face is immediately given a more chiselled appearance - the planes of the cheek and jawbones reflecting light in a seriously flattering way. Then 6 months ago, I decided to try IPL. Which was brilliant. Fabulous. Didn't hurt, hairs started falling out of their own accord, growing back lighter bla bla bla. The only problem was that regrowth could not be bleached or waxed in between - it had to be shaved (as if!!) or removed with cream. The latter was initially disgusting - it smelt bad, stung a little and didn't remove the hair entirely - leaving little burnt down stubs that looked like I'd leaned too close to a struck match. Then, for some reason, the second time I tried it, it worked brilliantly. I used Boots Facial Hair Removal Cream - left a thick layer on for about 10 minutes (well, it didn't sting, so figured that was okay - despite on-pack instructions) - then swept it all away et voila. All gone, all clear, all smooth. And, best bit, nothing grew back for over a month and what did was light and sparse.

Not groundbreaking life lessons I grant you, but, I'll admit, they were still enough to make my day.

#73 Cheap Dates

I've made the move from snobby skincare buff to beauty bargain hunter over the course of the last couple of weeks, in a bid to ascertain whether or not the amount of spondoolees spent is directly proportional to the sparkliness of the skin. To be honest, after years of sticking with bargain beauty hits from...

The Body Shop (Brow Gel; Lip and Cheek Stain; Complexion Enhancer)
No7 (some of the best mascaras on the market)
Rimmel (great nail polish & on-trend lippy)
Neal's Yard Remedies (amazing masks and brilliant aromatherapy bath oils)
Superdrug (the massive tub of Intensive Coconut Conditioner is amazing and so cheap)
Olay (Daily Facials are a must-have when I'm away or at the gym)

... I'm already aware of the fact that you don't need to fork out fifties to get great results.

Well, now I've got some more goodies to gab about...

E45 - the new Endless Moisture Replenishing Care Body Cream is brilliant. Go for the fragrance-free option for a buttery cream that sinks straight in and leaves limbs silky. It's my everyday gym essential and really helps alleviate stubborn back-of-arm bumps.

Miners - their Dream Eyes eyeliners come in at less than £2 each, but serve up swell colours in a surprisingly soft texture.

Eucerin - the Intensive Foot Cream with 10% Urea is great for calloused, hard-soled feet. A week's use and you'll notice a big difference.


There are more bargain beauty recommendations to come next time I blog, as I've been bitten and am now smitten with cheap-as-chips cosmetics. It gives a whole new meaning to the oft-mimicked and maligned catchphrase, 'You're worth it.'

#61 Premature Estimation

To understand just how little guidance real women get when questing after skincare solutions, one need only recall the recent frenzy for Boots No 7 Protect & Perfect - with thousands of people (the men all apparently buying for partners) diving to get their hands on the latest 'elixir of youth.' What this serum had, that far fewer anti-ageing counterparts have been subject to, was some TV time behind it - forming part of a much-watched Horizon documentary shown late last year. So, can anyone even remember the facts behind the product? Or has hype overtaken sense yet again?

To recap, laboratory tests were headed up by an expert dermatologist - who tested No 7 Protect & Perfect and deemed it to be effective at combating sun damage.

Ah. If only it were that simple. The fact is, the test was a very small one involving just 9 volunteers... oh, and it was carried out on their forearms - not their faces.

Following the results of the initial 'HORIZON' experiment, the dermatologist (Professor Chris Griffiths), has since initiated a six-month double-blind clinical trial, involving 60 volunteers: “We are giving the cream to 30 people to use on their faces and a normal moisturiser to 30 more as a placebo. At present we are about halfway through the trial, although we have not started assessing the results yet.”

So, this is the real test. I mean, it involves actual people's faces, which is a good place to start when trying to assess whether or not a face cream works...

Of course, cosmetics companies aren't stupid. If they are to claim significant 'skin-healing' benefits that border on pharmaceutical, it would then be necessary to subject said products to an enormous battery of expensive tests that could take years. Our governing bodies might allow cosmetics companies free reign over their own research (which is not to say that most companies don't carry out impressive, stringent and exhaustive tests - well, would you risk the lawsuit?!) but pharmaceutical companies do not get the same grace - which is why we now have the frustratingly wooly term, cosmeceutical, being used to describe cosmetics with 'pseudo-pharmaceutical' benefits - a word which has, of course, been invented by the cosmetics companies themselves.

The galling thing about the No7 debacle is not that it isn't a good product. It might well be - and yes, the forearm cells of those 9 volunteers did show elevated levels of two proteins within the skin that ensure its elasticity - but we're talking about 9 people, 9 forearms - and this is all it takes to spark a 6million-&-counting shopping frenzy?

Perhaps it's got something to do with the number 7? The latest craze? The Athena 7 Minute Face Lift (currently being snatched from Harvey Nick's shelves faster than I can type the word 'HYPE') - which contains nothing more than a blend of organic essential oils (although, there are 12 of these, not 7 - that would've been freaky).

I have a pot here and will happily send it to the first person who emails in and is interested in testing it. Why haven't I bothered myself? Because I don't need my reflection to tell me that a pot of cream cannot make me look 18 again. It might be wonderful, it might be the holy grail of face masks, it might take my mug from corned beef to fillet steak, but it will most certainly not make me look as though I have had a facelift. My omniscient beauty ed's ego might be a bit inflated, I'll admit that - but I guarantee it won't be anywhere near as inflated as these readily proliferated product claims. So there.

#31 Skins

As much as I would like to think of my beauty quest as being utterly just – blind and impartial – the truth of the matter is, looks count. Take the new cosmetics range from Korres. It’s beautiful – inspiringly ripe colours, familiar coarse & earthy packaging, bright visuals – I want it all. I’ve sketched and rubbed a good deal of it over the backs of my hands, across lids and into cheeks already and am impressed with the easygoing textures… but I imagined good things from the moment I opened the envelope. Great expectations – that were not dashed at the first sniff or swipe. Then you have the products at the other, unfortunate, embarrassing, ‘editorially-unfit’ end of the spectrum. Such as Montagne Jeunesse’s horrifically frightening face masks. Just how this company expects to elicit a sense of excitement with their shots of heads and bodies bedecked in fruit flurries and plant pot pourri is a mystery to me. The packaging is HIDEOUS. But, unfairly, the products are rather good. The bust firming gel is a decent, tightening brew that really does get your boobies tingling and most importantly, wobbling far less than before. Yes, the results are temporary – but then, aren’t they all? Likewise, the marine mineral mask is very hydrating, even if it isn’t ideal for sensitive skins and it’s too heavily perfumed. All in all – not too bad – yet the packaging is fit only for practical jokes and ironic birthday gifts.

Perhaps it shouldn’t matter. Perhaps, that exhausted maxim ‘Beauty is only skin-deep’ should apply to our cosmetic quests too… but then, we are talking about cosmetics. It’s as superficial as it gets – we want to look good – so it makes sense that we expect the same of the products we choose. There are the Chanels, Korners, Stellas, Stilas and Paul & Joes of this world – and then there are the Virgin Vies, Collection 2000, Colorsports and fake nail companies. Yes, yes, yes – they might be GOOD, but they’re just too darned ugly.

And lest I be labelled a, well, ‘label’ whore – I’d also like to big up the little winners too. Barbara Daly, Bourjois, Mister Mascara, Rimmel, Urban Decay and No 7. And that’s just for starters. No, it has nothing to do with price – just plain beauty. Inside and out.