# 135 Funny Face

Funny stuff happens post-bairn. Hair growth fizzles out [barely shaved my legs in 7 weeks]; dry skin becomes suddenly oily again [the t-zone is back to teen-sheen status]; eye bags sprout eye bags for their eye bags, and then, all of a sudden, get used to sleeplessness and disappear, all by themselves [or is it the new 'kinder' mirror we've installed in the bathroom?!]; smooth as a baby's bottom skin develops barnacled patches [back of arms, like silk for 40 weeks, are now more sandpapery] and the hairs on my head are falling out in clumps, as the scalp relinquishes its stronghold on the excess pregnancy strands [I shed a daily hair rug for the bathroom floor. Thank gawd [and Mr Dyson] for my handheld hoover]. So, with new highs and lows comes new opportunities to TEST TEST TEST, and this I have been doing with renewed relish now that the 8-week-old is learning to sleep better at night [hoorah!].

What do I like?

Creme de la Mer The Body Lotion - After trialling oils from Mama Mio, Aromatherapy Associates and Erbaviva [all lovely, nourishing, great-smelling], I went back to this baby which is still half-full as I abandoned it while pregnant. Well, yes, it really is incomparably fab and leaves even awkward skin very soft. The back of arms are already looking & feeling better. I'm just not looking forward to re-purchase time. Ouch.

Origins Never a Dull Moment Scrub – Now, from all that I’ve tried & trialed & tested and learned, I know that rough-grain scrubs are no good for skin [not even the body]. Much better to look for fine Microdermabrasion-style formulas, or chemical exfoliants, such as those found in Elemis Tri-Enzyme Resurfacing Gel Mask. But, well, this one breaks the rules. I first purchased it while temping as a counter girl at Selfridges [13 years ago!], and though I’ve not used it in the interim, I was most glad to rediscover it last month. It smells lush & fruity, leaves skin very rosy and perky, and makes light work of rough patches. Best of all, it doesn’t leave skin sore or ‘scrubbed’ feeling.

Sue Devitt Micro-Aquatic Hydrating Marine Minerals Tinted Moisturizer SPF 15 – Sue wins no prizes for snappy product names, but she does gain plaudits with this gorgeous, dewy, light base. Many bases claim to moisturise yet somehow highlight dry patches instead – but this is different. It makes skin softer, spongier and smoother. It also gives great glow & wears well throughout the day [tip: pat it into skin that is still slightly ‘moist’ after the application of your morning face cream].

And what just isn’t getting the baby bathed?

Origins Clean Energy Cleanser – There’s nothing glaringly wrong with this – it feels nice enough, smells zingy & contains nice things [olive/kukui/macadamia nut oils], but it just didn’t do anything special either. Skin was a bit shiny at times, dry at others and congestion on the chin was not kept at bay. It is absolutely dandy for removing a thin layer of slap, but if you want a deep, nourishing, purifying or balancing cleanse, there are better suds on the shelves.

The Body Shop Lip & Cheek Tint – There was a time when I used this a lot – before dates with the blokie; before dashing out to buy milk; on trains before meetings... because I believed it gave my lips a gorgeous bitten stain and cheeks a hearty, healthy flush. Now, 8 years in the beauty biz later, I’ve come to realise that this is seriously lacking. It’s watery consistency means the colour is never uniform – in my case, the insides of my lips always pink up more than the outer bits, which makes me look as though I’ve been sucking on home-made Ribena popsicles [not a great look for a 30-year-old professional]. Even after reapplying, layer upon layer, I found it utterly impossible to get an even colour across the entire lip. On cheeks? Even worse. Some bits of skin take, others do not – making the skin look a bit rashy. Consigned to the bin this one [and those fond memories, to the re-visited and corrected annals of time].

# 116 Hot Shots

Guilt, immense guilt, at the gap in blogging leads me to scribble a list of the things I’ve loved in the interim. Well, they’ve put a smile on my face at any rate…

Neal’s Yard Remedies Wild Rose Beauty Balm
I began using this when my beloved ESPA Deep Cleansing Balm ran out (again), and because my skin felt drier than normal thanks to the Big Freeze we’re all bored of hearing about. The main point of difference between this and ESPA is that the NYR product does not emulsify, so it doesn’t rinse away cleanly in the same way that several other oil-based cleansers do (including Sarah Chapman and Vaishaly). For some reason, however, this hasn’t seemed to matter and after a good buff and steam with a muslin cloth, my skin is left feeling soft but not sticky or greasy. Of course it’s possible that this extra layer of nourishment is just what my skin happens to need at the moment – but the fact that I’ve not broken out in the three months that I’ve used it is also encouraging and when I do have blocked pores it’s easier than ever to ‘evacuate’ them, partly I think, because the balm seems to have made my skin that bit more pliable. As a winter staple, it’s a very good one – though not cheap (around £35). But I’ve been using it morning & night for 12 weeks & have a month’s use left in the pot. So… worth it.

The Body Shop Vitamin E Oil
I like the smell of this – and I’ve noticed that when I get the odd dry patch, this helps a great deal. I’ve been adding two drops to my ESPA Balancing Face Treatment Oil, mainly at night, but some mornings too, and it’s kept my reaction-prone skin feeling very very comfortable, even on the coldest days of the year. I also like patting a tiny bit around the eyes at night… it seems to hydrate nicely. Now, I’ve not tried the Ila Radiance Face Glowing Oil yet… and have heard that nothing compares (any opinions?) – but as far as inexpensive treats go, this is a winner.

The Organic Pharmacy Lipstick in Dark Pink
The best thing is the creamy formula – very balmy, without being sticky. It isn’t long-lasting, but because pigment’s so intense the colour does have a way of seemingly staining lips for the better part of the day. This is not a ‘waxy’ lipstick. The other thing I like is the colour – it’s a rather vivid raspberry, which looks brighter on lips (well, mine at any rate) than it does in the tube. It’s nice for an instant perk-up and great for sore winter lips too.

Yes to Carrots Deliciously Rich Body Butter
Just want to amend a prior posting. I liked this, then I didn’t so much (I felt it wasn’t great for those prone to back-of-arm bumps). Well, I got caught out without a body cream last week and have been using this for seven days straight, and I have to say that it really is bloody good stuff. You put it on in the morning and can still, quite palpably, feel the softness of your skin throughout the course of the day. Even as I type this, in an overly-heated office, enveloped in woollen jumper-dress, I’m stroking my lovely spongy soft arms. I just don’t get this sort of all-day softness from body oils. I’m also rather addicted to the baby-bottom-lotion scent. Mmmmmm. Reinstated.

#73 Cheap Dates

I've made the move from snobby skincare buff to beauty bargain hunter over the course of the last couple of weeks, in a bid to ascertain whether or not the amount of spondoolees spent is directly proportional to the sparkliness of the skin. To be honest, after years of sticking with bargain beauty hits from...

The Body Shop (Brow Gel; Lip and Cheek Stain; Complexion Enhancer)
No7 (some of the best mascaras on the market)
Rimmel (great nail polish & on-trend lippy)
Neal's Yard Remedies (amazing masks and brilliant aromatherapy bath oils)
Superdrug (the massive tub of Intensive Coconut Conditioner is amazing and so cheap)
Olay (Daily Facials are a must-have when I'm away or at the gym)

... I'm already aware of the fact that you don't need to fork out fifties to get great results.

Well, now I've got some more goodies to gab about...

E45 - the new Endless Moisture Replenishing Care Body Cream is brilliant. Go for the fragrance-free option for a buttery cream that sinks straight in and leaves limbs silky. It's my everyday gym essential and really helps alleviate stubborn back-of-arm bumps.

Miners - their Dream Eyes eyeliners come in at less than £2 each, but serve up swell colours in a surprisingly soft texture.

Eucerin - the Intensive Foot Cream with 10% Urea is great for calloused, hard-soled feet. A week's use and you'll notice a big difference.


There are more bargain beauty recommendations to come next time I blog, as I've been bitten and am now smitten with cheap-as-chips cosmetics. It gives a whole new meaning to the oft-mimicked and maligned catchphrase, 'You're worth it.'

#29 The Goody Bag #2

The bag has now evolved into a 60 cm deep drawer. What am I loving?

The brand new Organic Home Treatment Mists from Natural Magic. Sicilian Lemon & Fresh Basil is a favourite. It’s unusual – the basil could be too strong for some (in fact, it’s not dissimilar to the strength of the basil within MOP’s Mint & Basil range) – but the citrus sharpness just about cuts through it. It is labelled ‘Refresh: Energy Boost’ and doesn’t disappoint.

Essie Nail Polish in Fifth Avenue. I’m sort of annoyed that orange is apparently the colour of the season – lord, I hate those temporal tags - when it’s always been my lacquer of choice and I’ve been wearing it with my summer sandals for over five years. It’s fresher than red, picks up a tan like no other hue and makes me smile whenever my eyes catch sight of my toes. This shade is a beauty. Fittingly, the brighter the day, the more orange it seems and likewise, the duskier it is, the more it veers towards redness. And, of course, because it’s Essie, it’s been on my feet for a full week, in boots, flip-flops, shoes, socks and slippers (such is the odd weather week we’ve been having) – and there isn’t a snag or chip in sight. While we’re on the subject of top talons, MAC’s new Nail Lacquer in Kid Orange – which MAC have adroitly described as ‘unpretentious coral cream’ - is another killer colour that you really can’t miss the mark with.

The Body Shop Lip Colour in Bare. Not really a nudist myself – I like a perky peach, modish coral or vinyl red – this surprised me. It’s a scary toffee/peanut butter sort of colour, but on the lips, it manages to pick out pink and golden colouring – blending to a sophisticated, caramel sheen. I’ve seen it against black, olive and white complexions and it worked well on all. A pretty smart shade-shifter.

And....what am I ditching?

Revlon Pinch Me Cheek Blush. It’s very wet and watery, which feels rather nice, but then you blend it into the skin and watch in bemusement as it disappears completely, leaving no trace of colour or sheen behind. I suggest they go back to the drawing board with this one… au naturel is one thing, but paying for a product that is essentially invisible is quite another.

#23 In Pulchra Veritas...

Having been suckered into the Facebook boom several months ago, I have to say it's put more than a few smiles on my face. Old school mates, uni friends, work colleagues and long-lost acquaintances all in one bustling, social cyberspace that's far more fun than the clinical climate of Friends Reunited. Poking, gifting, messaging and scrawling overly emotional messages on a sibling's wall space are what it's all about and I check in at least once a week to see what's going on. My favourite bit so far? The inexplicable popularity of the cult community Caecilius est in horto, which not only reminded me of my wonderful, inimitable Latin teacher, but also the doomed lives of the Pompeian family, Metella, Quintus, Clemens, Grumio and the mischievous little dog, Cerberus, painted so vividly by the Cambridge Latin Course. Ah, it's nice to reminisce. But once you begin, you just can't stop, which is where I currently find myself...

The first item of make-up I bought? A clear, colourless mascara from Boots 17. Then a shimmering, nude pink from Boots Natural Collection and a little bottle of scent - once again from Boots - in a triangular bottle, with a black plastic lid, that was called something like Infinity, or Inspiration, or my sister thinks it might even have been called Atmosphere. I can't remember the name because it rubbed off within months of my buying it, but whatever it was called, it was fresh and icy with a sweet heart and I loved it so much that it went through three house moves with me - until I finally lost it about five years ago. Boots was my teenage make-up Mecca. I remember the slightly breathless feeling I would get on reaching the top of the escalator. My cousin and I would spend hours, utterly engrossed, smelling, testing, pouting and preening into the distorted foil mirrors that used to be stuck on the in-store display units and blow the majority of our pocket money there every Saturday afternoon.

A year later and I'd graduated onto eyeliner. Rimmel was my first - an unflattering minky brown that was too light for my complexion - followed by bronzing pearls from The Body Shop - a real extravagance at the time. The Body Shop was also where I had my first skincare experience. My mum noticed that I'd started to get spots - on the nose and forehead - so she coerced me into my nearest store, where I sat atop a stool, and had astringent, stinging solutions tried out on my pimples. I remember a brown, watery emulsion - with oats in it – with which I was advised to wash my face every morning, but it brought my skin out in heat rashes. I tried Clearasil too and used it for a month or so, before graduating onto a fruity, fragrance-free face wash from Holland & Barrett, followed by Oil of Ulay - as it was known back then. Eventually, I was a fully-fledged face painter and I wouldn't leave the house without painted nails, mascara, a white shimmery eyeshadow from Rimmel, a dusting of bronzer and a slick of edible strawberry lipgloss. I even had a set of brassy highlights put in by a family friend - how I loved them! - until a boy I fancied told me I looked much better without them and should consider prosecuting my hairdresser. First love snuck even more tricks up the sleeve - peppermint scented balm, tinted moisturiser (I used Botanics, which was an utterly fantastic formula, but sadly discontinued) and enough kohl to sketch canvases with. The joy of those first buys and the communal cosmetic summits we'd have in the school bathroom, exchanging face scrubs, lipsticks, mascara - dreading the end-of-lunch bell, when we'd have to run back to our form rooms for afternoon registration - once with a stubborn wax strip still stuck to my thigh.

That's what school was all about. Laughing till my sides split, experimenting on our faces until detention struck and (secretly) loving to learn about everything from Grumio's kitchen to Lady Macbeth's lost child. The classical crossed with the cosmetic. Aw, memories....