Tuesday, 10 July 2007

#39 Clean Spleen

Not content with having jumpy hormones (yes, my blood test result showed a couple of anomalies), I found out yesterday that a couple of my other organs have also been plotting & picketing against me. A face reader looked deep into my eyes and told me that I was prone to a grumbling gut and sluggish spleen and told me to eat more hot food - with ginger, cumin, turmeric, cinnamon - have a couple of colonics and start swallowing Psyllium husks every morning. Oh joy. Apparently this is the reason, once and for all, for my baffling breakouts. So not only am I taking pills to even out my hormones, along with wild blue/green algae for my skin, but now I also need to swap my morning cuppa for a couple of capsules chased with a pint of water. Even in summer, she said, it's essential for me to eat hot foods and to avoid too many salads, fresh fruits and uncooked vegetables. In one half-hour session, all that I held to be true about good nutrition was trashed by a woman with, it has to be said, skin so good that it was impossible to estimate her age.

I wanted to test the theory so consulted one of the many McKeith manuals. I bought them, like most people, when they were in a WH Smith's promotion and refer to them every now and again when I'm feeling a bit iffy. I don't subscribe to her 'miraculous' cure - I mean, she takes the most toxic living things in the country and makes them eat fruit & veg for two months and then... CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??... they manage to lose weight? I mean, it's hardly groundbreaking stuff, is it? Having said that, there's a lot of interesting information in her original book about the self-diagnosis of ailments and when I took a peek at the problems that had been pestering me... well, voila, there were the same words, clear as day. Forehead spots? Sluggish spleen and dodgy gut. Hot food and Psyllium husks. Well, that shut me up.

So it's only day two of this new regime. I've been skipping my customary cereal with ice-cold milk for breakfast and salad for lunch and already, I'm feeling, perhaps rather obviously, all warm inside. Hot porridge, hearty vegetable bake, carrot & coriander soup, chickpea curry... my meal planner is starting to resemble a McKeithathon. What's been most interesting is the fact that, because of my salad/fruit/veggie munching, I considered my diet to be the last possible cause of my problems. It took someone with far more insight and expertise to really make me see where I was going wrong and when I thought about it, yes, I did have a problem. I've always had a grumbly tumbly and suffered with various food intolerances. In reality, I wasn't regularly giving my body the correct, specific sustenance that it required. In just two days, things are feeling a lot better.

Now I'm going at it wholeheartedly, to see whether or not it's really my innards that are the problem and if, once they've had a good spring clean, the forehead spots will magically disappear - FOREVER. It's the ultimate test. It's not hormones (they've been dealt with), it's not skincare (Liz Earle is proving a treat) - it's, well, me. So, here's to a month of husks and hot food. Hopefully, it'll get to the, ahem, bottom of things and I won't even need those colonics... unlike those poor YAWYE participants who can't escape Gillian storming in to kick their butts into gear - or even worse, forcing a tube up it.

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